Season 6
by arienette47
Summary: I have been thinking for a while how to end this. I just reread the entire thing today and I really think that it ends in a good spot. Everyone has closure. Even J.D. and Andrea. He realizes that he wants her to meet his mother.
1. my breast exam

A/N: okay so this is my first scrubs fanfic, so I'm sorry if the characters are completely off or if this is a stupid story. I plan on writing more chapters… This is kind of how I see season six picking up.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

**My Breast Exam**

ACT 1

SCENE 1

INT. THE HOSPITAL

J.D.: _Every morning at Sacred Heart is a new experience. Something always happens here that you don't expect._ (Walks down the hallway and past the Janitor)

Janitor: Good Morning J.D. (smiles)

J.D.: _Like someone paying attention to you. _Jani – wait. How do you know my name?

Janitor: Maybe I have known this entire time… or maybe nosy nurse told me.

J.D. (like how he says Janitor) Carla!

Janitor: So what does J.D. Stand for any way? Just Dumb?

J.D.: Not going to bother me today. And you'll never figure it out. (Starts to walk away)

Janitor: Oh I will, James Doherty! (Calls after him)

J.D.: I have my name tag on and you still can't get it right (calls over his shoulder)

Janitor:(when J.D. is out of sight) Damnit!

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 2

INT. NURSES STATION.

Dr. Cox: What took you so long Sharon? Couldn't find our make up this morning?

J.D.: My scooter backfired today.

FLASH BACK

JD GETS ON HIS SCOOTER AND TURNS IT ON AND BEGINS TO RIDE IT. IT BACK FIRES AND HE FALLS OFF RIGHT NEXT TO A BUS STATION. HE LOOKS AROUND AND DUSTS HIMSELF OFF. STANDS UP AND SEES THE BUS IS BEGINNING TO LEAVE AND RUNS AFTER IT.

J.D.: NO!!!!!!!

END OF FLASH BACK

Dr. Cox: Newbie, when are you going to become a big boy and drive a normal car? Or at least get a minivan like a soccer mom.

J.D.: Soccer mom's drive SUV's

Dr. Cox: Roberta, you aren't feminine enough to drive an SUV. And I reh-he-

Dr. Kelso: (Voice Over) Paging Dr. Cox to exam room 3.

Dr. Cox: Why do we have to carry these stupid pagers around if he is going to make us endure his whiny voice over the PA system? (Before he walks away)

Carla: Hey Bambi.

J.D.: Carla, did you tell Janitor my real name?

Carla: J.D. I know you think the Janitor is out to get you. But every time he talks to Turk, Elliot or me it isn't always about you.

Janitor: (down the hallway and calls to Carla) Nurse! Tell me what happened after scooter kissed the black doctor.

Carla: (smiles at JD) gotta go. (Runs up to the janitor) Okay so…

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 3

PATIENTS ROOM

Dr. Cox: (opens door) Okay so Bob, what is sooooooooo important you couldn't page me on my pager?

Dr. Kelso: Perry, if I had to page you I would on your pager. What makes you think that was for you? (Steps aside to reveal a woman doctor) This is Dr. Andrea Cox. She is new and doesn't have a pager.

Perry: (looks at her) Andrea?

Andrea: Perry, or should I say dad? But that would mean you were involved in my life…

JD: (Voice over)_ or seeing someone you hadn't seen in ten years._

Kelso: Oh good, you already know each other. (Walks over to the door) That's why I paged you Perry.

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1

SCENE 4

PATIENTS ROOM

Andrea: So you want to help me?

Perry: No, I want to see what you can do.

Andrea: Okay, Mr. Hammond what seems to be the problem with you? (she said looking at him)

Mr. Hammond: I have been having this nasty cough for the last year (coughs)

Andrea: and you are just now having this checked out?

Mr. Hammond: Yeah I thought it would go away.

Andrea: Men always waits until the last possible moment before going to see a doctor because they think that if they go they will show how weak they really are. Well listen up sparky, you probably had bronchitis and now it's gotten worse because you were too afraid to come to see the mean old doctor. (Makes a face) you are going to have to get a chest x-ray. (Slams charts down at the foot of the bed and walks out of the room)

Perry: Bravo! What bed side manor.

Andrea: Can it Perry. I didn't just become this way for no reason.

Perry: True but with your (makes a face) delightful mother I didn't think you would turn out to be the splitting version of me.

Andrea: the way you talk about my mother makes me think you don't even remember who she is.

Perry: your right, what with all the tail I got in college.

Andrea: (laughs like she is about to die) oh what with your cherry personality you must have been fighting them off.

Perry: You want me to make rounds with you today or not?

Andrea: I have an attending with me today.

Perry: Well what airhead "doctor" did they set you up with?

Andrea: Dr. Reid.

Perry: Who?

Elliot (walks up to them): Hi!

Perry: Barbie?

Elliot: Hi Dr Cox and Dr Cox. Are you two related?

Perry: (laughs) oh have fun.

J.D.: (runs up to Perry) Dr. Cox, I was wondering if you could give me a ride home from work… maybe we could stop and get milkshakes. My treat.

Andrea: (big smile) sounds like your day is going to be (waves her hands) so much better.

J.D.: hey she's got the idea.

Perry: can it newbie.

ANDREA AND ELLIOT WALK OFF

J.D.: So who's the new doctor? Eh? (Elbowing Perry)

Perry: Wasn't your girlfriend pregnant?

J.D.: oh yeah it was a false positive. And we broke up.

Perry: So how did she break up with you?

J.D.: She didn't break up with me…

Perry: Whatever gets you through the day Charlotte?

Dr. Kelso: (Voice Over) Paging Doctor Cox.

J.D.: Where are you going? Dr. Kelso is paging you.

Perry: No he isn't newbie, he was paging the newest doctor to our staff.

J.D.: You mean the new hot doctor.

Perry: You mean my daughter. (Looks at J.D. when he realizes what he said.)

J.D.: Your daughter?

Perry: Yes Newbie, my daughter. You see when to people are drunk and have sex there can be punishments such as children. And as a result of drunken sex when I was in med school my girlfriend of the time got pregnant.

J.D.: But you have never talked about her before.

Perry: that's because I wasn't proud of what I did.

JD: _And sometimes you hear a stubborn man say something you never thought he would…_

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 5

INT. NURSES STATION

Carla: Andrea is just as bad as Perry.

Turk: so what is she like the female version of Dr. Cox?

Elliot: I don't know she doesn't seem too bad to me.

Carla: That's because you have been kissing her ass ever since she got here.

Elliot: Hey I have one Dr. Cox riding me already, I don't need two.

Andrea: Elliot! I need you in room 310. Miss Michaels needs her bed pan changed.

Elliot: Coming Dr. Cox.

Carla: Elliot why are you doing nurses jobs?

Elliot: Because she scares me (rushes off)

Turk: The only thing I can't understand is if Dr. Kelso hates Dr. Cox so much why would he hire his daughter.

Dr. Kelso: Because Turkleton, I loved to see his face when he saw his estranged daughter after ten years.

ACT 1

SCENE 5

HALLWAY

Janitor: Joseph Dennis!

J.D.: (continues to walk) nope

Janitor: Jacob Douglas

J.D.: (walking) try again…

Janitor: What's your first name scooter?

J.D.: What's your's Janitor.

Janitor: You will never find out.

J.D.: Do you even wear a name tag?

Janitor: I do. But it just says Janitor.

J.D.: Well played. (bumps into Andrea) Well Hello.

Andrea: (rolls her eyes) hi.

J.D.: So what made you decide to become a doctor?

Andrea: Well Dr. Dorian.

Janitor: Ah hah! The D is Dorian.

J.D.: But you still don't know what the J is for…

Andrea: I'm sure you want me to say something heart warming like I wanted to follow in my father's footsteps or something stupid like that but the truth is… I like the free exams and the pay.

J.D.: I like the Doctors Lounge.

Andrea: I'm sure you do. Oh and hey about those free exams… I actually need you to do one.

J.D.: Really?

Andrea: Yeah I need to get a breast exam. So meet me in room 415 at five okay? (Starts to walk away)

J.D.: Uh… yeah... Sure. Why do you want me to do it?_ Why should I care I get to do it._

Andrea: Because you're the only doctor here that I trust besides Perry and while I am his estranged daughter I still don't want my father touching my jahooves. (Continues to leave)

J.D.: Sounds fair. _I get to touch the hot new doctor's boobies! _(starts to air fondle her boobies)

Andrea: (without looking like her father) stop air fondling my boobs!

END SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2

SCENE 1

HALLWAY

Turk: (walks up) Whats going on vanilla bear?

J.D: I get to give the new doctor a breast exam!

Turk: You mean Dr. Cox's daughter.

J.D.: Stop reminding me of that.

Turk: Why you slept with Jordan?

J.D.: True. (Smiles and flash backs to sleeping with Jordan) But remember what happened after Coxey found out?

Turk: yeah I sure do. So you better not go around bragging you get to feel up Dr. Cox's daughter on her first day of work.

J.D.: Good lookin' out bro.

Turk: Dude, whiter.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 2

INT. NURSES STATION. ELLIOT WALKS UP HOLDING SEVERAL BED PANS.

Perry: Barbie, what are you doing?

Elliot: I'm emptying out Andrea's patient's bed pans.

Perry: I can see that. But why aren't you saying something to her. I'm sure she could get Lavern to do that for her.

Lavern: Thanks Blondie.

Elliot: Oh anytime Lavern! (To Perry) It's cause I'm scared of her.

Perry: And why's that?

Elliot: Because she is the female version of you, except I'm afraid if I make her mad now when it's that time of the month it's going to be worse.

Perry: You have met Jordan right?

Elliot: Oh I'm sure Andrea could give Jordan a run for her money.

Perry: (smirk) well isn't she just a chip off the old block.

Elliot: That's for sure sir! You did a good job with her. (Turns and drops a bed pan) Frick on a stick!

Andrea: (walks past them) Dr. Reid, I need you to clean up the mess you just made.

Elliot: I'll get right on that!

Perry: That's enough (sighs and walks after Andrea) Dr. Cox

Andrea: (turns around) yes.

Perry: I don't want to tell you how to run your attendings but we have an abundance of janitors around here that are supposed to do that. So why don't you go yell at one of those lazy asses for awhile and lay off Barbie.

Andrea: And why would you want me to do that?

Perry: Because if anyone gets to boss Barbie around that would be me. I have been bossing her around since she was an intern and I'm not about to let anyone take that away from me.

Andrea: Alright I'll go find an intern to boss around. Happy now "Dad"?

Perry: I'm sure you are a very good doctor but you can't just walk into a hospital and take respect from everyone. You have to earn it, like everyone else did here. So shut your trap and treat them as your colleagues.

Andrea: Are you done? Because I have to go, Dr. Dorian is administering a breast exam on me and I don't want to be late. (Doesn't wait for an answer and turns on her heel to leave)

Elliot: well isn't that the cherry on top of your crap sundae? (Walks up and past him)

Perry: Barbie!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 3

INT. EXAMINING ROOM

J.D.: (walks into the room) alright Dr. Cox I'm going to need you to remove your shirt (looks up to see it's already off) oookay…

Andrea: Make this snappy… I got patients I have to attend to.

J.D.: _be a professional about this… stop fantasizing about having sex with her on top of the examining table. _Okay so what seems to be the problem?

Andrea: I think I found a lump when doing a self breast exam. So can you get to it? (Lifts her hands in the air)

J.D.: (walks over to her and beings to administer the exam)_ they are nice and squishy… too bad this has to be an exam to do this._ _And just when I was starting to enjoy this is when I found a lump._

Andrea: so what do you think? (Putting her shirt back on)

J.D.: I want you to get a biopsy.

Andrea: oh wow…. I thought I was being paranoid when I found the lump but I guess…

J.D.: I just want to see if it is cancerous.

Andrea: Alright! Well thanks (hops off the exam table) I'll see you later.

J. D.: You really should get that exam later this week.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 4

NURSES STATION

Carla: Turk I'm getting a sonogram tomorrow.

Turk: ooh the baby doctor is a hot one! I'll come with.

Carla: She's what?

Turk: but not as hot as you baby (kisses her cheek)

Carla: That's right (hits his but with a chart)

J.D.: (walks up to them) Hey.

Turk: So how did the breast exam go?

Carla: What breast exam?

Turk: Dr. Cox's daughter wanted J.D. to give her a breast exam.

Perry: Yeah newbie, how did the breast exam go?

J.D.: Gotta go! (Starts to run)

Perry: (catches up to him) Newbie you run like a girl. (Cuts in front of him and stops. Causing J.D to fall to the floor)

J.D.: Dr. Cox… she asked me to give her a breast exam….

Perry: Look Newbie, breast cancer runs in her mom's family. So was there a lump or not?

J.D.: Why do you care so much?

Perry: Because when I was younger I was afraid I was going to hit her like my father hit me so I left. I later found out her mother had breast cancer and when she died I went to her funeral. That's the last time I saw Andrea, we aren't on good terms. But I wan to make up for the past now. So tell me what's going on with my daughter.

Andrea: Well Dr. Dorian can't do that because it would be against the Hippocratic Oath. (walks up to him) But I'm scheduled for a biopsy this Friday because there was a lump.

J.D.: but it could be a cyst.

Andrea: Right.

J.D.: _Here at sacred heart miracles happen here every day._

Andrea: so Dr. Dorian here is going to be there to give it to me.

Perry: And I'll be in the waiting room, to make sure you're alright.

J.D.: _like realizing that even if a past relationship can't be fixed, you can still have a relationship now._

Andrea: Thanks (looks at J.D.)

J.D.: Sorry family moment. I'll leave you two alone. (as he walks away, can see Perry and Andrea hugging)

Janitor: Job.

J.D.: Nope, but I do know your name Tom Thompson.

Janitor: Wait… how did you know?

J.D.: (pulls out the janitors wallet and waves it around and then throws it at him)

Janitor: touché. John.

J.D.: (continues to walk)_ or realizing that your relationship now is still as crappy as your past._

Wrong, keep guessing. (walks out of the hospital)

Janitor: (to Ted) I thought you said his name was John? Now you're going pay.

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT


	2. My yumyum

A/N: So here is chapter two, I hope it is a lot better… I tried to include the other characters more. I'm sorry they haven't really interacted with that many patients, I'm working on it.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

**My YumYum**

ACT 1

SCENE 1

INT. HOSPTIAL

J.D.: _ I'm kind of worried about the biopsy today, Dr. Cox said that if I messed this up this would be the last time I would get that close to a boobie. And I am afraid that he isn't joking. _(Walking into the hospital)

Perry: Hey Newbie (turning the corner and catching up with him puts his arm around this shoulder) Ready for the biopsy?

J.D.: Come to think of it… Elliot would be better for the job sir. I mean she is a girl. They have the same body parts.

Perry: Get over it newbie… you're going to have to deal with it sooner or later.

J.D.: See I like to do things carefully, like when I go swimming I like to put my foot in the water and get used to it before I jump right in.

Perry: Well you know what I like to do when I go swimming? (they stop in front of the examining room)

J.D.: What?

Perry: Push people in (and then pushes J.D. into the room before he shuts the door)

J.D.: (looks at Andrea in the hospital gown and smiles uneasily) Well… what a nice day to get a biopsy, wouldn't you say?

Andrea: You butcher my boob, I butcher your balls.

J.D.: (scared) that seems fair…

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1

SCENE 2

NURSES STATION

Elliot: Turk, have you seen J.D.? I have question about our patient Mr. Newbury.

Turk: No, he is probably giving Andrea that biopsy.

Elliot: Andrea is having a biopsy?

Turk: Yup

Elliot: (smugly) what goes around comes around

Turk: Elliot what are you talking about?

Elliot: Well the last couple of days Andrea has been bossing me around and making me do custodial jobs… payback is a witch.

Turk: Don't you mean a bitch?

Elliot: I don't like to swear, its unlady like (burps loudly)

Turk: And that doesn't?

Todd: (walks by) blue

Elliot: Red!

All the other interns and attending yell different colors.

Elliot: oh, Turk looks like you lost.

Turk: Lost what?

Elliot: Oh, well when someone burps around here we all yell a color and the last person to yell a color or doesn't say one has to rub their nipple and say yum-yum.

Turk: Dude that's such an awesome game!

Elliot: Yeah it is, now do it loser!

Turk: (rubs his chest) yum-yum.

Elliot: I'll see you for another round at lunch. (Points to him before walking away)

Turk: Oh it's on! (He calls after her)

Carla: Why do you give into those childish games (walks up)

Turk: Because they are fun baby!

Carla: well I don't want you to teach our child those games.

Turk: well I don't want you to teach our baby Spanish!

Carla: What?

Turk: (unsure of what he just said) you heard me…

Carla: Where do you think you're going? (as he starts to jog) I know where you live!

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 3

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Dr. Kelso: What's wrong Dr. Turkleton?

Turk: n-nothing sir… do the nurses have a key to get in here? (locks door and stares at it)

Dr. Kelso: Did you piss off the entire nursing staff or just your wife? Because if you pissed off the entire nursing staff I'm not going down with you and I will rat you out.

Turk: I told Carla I didn't want her to teach our baby Spanish.

Dr. Kelso: Well good luck with that (pats him on the shoulder)

Turk: aren't you going to help me?

Dr. Kelso: Do you think I even care? (unlocks the door and tries to open it but it is stuck)

FRONT OF THE DOOR. JANITOR AND CARLA ARE STANDING IN FRONT OF IT WITH DR. KELSOS TREADMILL BLOCKING IT

Carla: Thanks for your help.

Janitor: No problem. Punishing doctors is what I specialize in.

Carla: Right… well let him out after lunch. It's gumbo day, I want him to miss it.

Janitor: Sure thing.

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Dr. Kelso: Crap! I'm locked in the room with you.

Turk: are you sure you unlocked the door.

Dr. Kelso: Turkleton, I'm the chief of medicine for a reason.

Turk: right sir. Wait… we are locked in the room?

Dr. Kelso: is all the staff as incompetent as you are?

Turk: Today is gumbo day! It's my favorite.

Dr. Kelso: I have been trying to get the cafeteria staff to cut that recipe for two years now. (continues to talk but Turk is freaking out) Turkleton?

Turk: be quite and stop breathing! You're sucking up all the air.

Dr. Kelso: What the hell is wrong with you?

Turk: I'm claustrophobic.

Dr. Kelso: Why don't you stop breathing… maybe then we could have some peace and quiet.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 4

WAITING ROOM, J.D. WALKS OUT OF THE EXAMINING ROOM

Perry: Soooo, newbie what's the news?

J.D.: Well luckily it was just a cyst and I was able to remove it with a fine needle aspiration.

Perry: But…

Andrea: (before J.D. can say anything, she screams from the other side of the door) Hey doc, pain killers now!!!

J.D.: She is all yours sir. (smiles)

Perry: oh no. I get yelled at enough by Jordan right now because she is pregnant again. I'm not about to deal with another woman with split personality disorder.

J.D.: I just got done listening to her scream and question me every time I did something. I'm not going back there.

Perry: Well you better think of something Newbie.

Elliot: (walks up) J.D. there you are…

J.D.: Hey Elliot, you think you could go in there and talk to my patient while I go take care of Mr. Newbury? (Takes file from her)

Elliot: okay sure (looks confused and begins to open the door)

J.D.: (to Perry) Run!

Elliot: huh?

Andrea: (screams)

Elliot: (goes back into the door way and slams door.) Carla!

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2

SCENE 1

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Turk: 77 bottles of beer on the wall…77 bottles of beer take one down pass it around 76 bottle of beer on the wall.

Dr. Kelso: tell me again why you are singing…

Turk: Because it claims me down and forgets that we are stuck in this tiny ity-bity room. (Is sitting on the floor in the corner, now in the fetal position)

Dr. Kelso: we have only been stuck in here for ten minutes. (picks up the remote and turns on the tv up full blast) continue singing!

Turk: Damn you made me forget where I was… now I have to start all over again. 100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottles of beer…

(cut to outside of the door)

J.D.: (walks up to the door) Janitor, why are you sitting outside of the lounge?

Janitor: There's construction going on in there.

J.D.: (not believe him) oh yeah, what are they building?

Janitor: (makes a face) they aren't building anything.

J.D.: You just said they were building something.

Janitor: No I didn't.

J.D.: Yeah you did.

Janitor: I think I would remember if I said that.

J.D.: You do but you are just lying.

Janitor: I don't lie. Lying is a sin.

J.D.: well that must make you a sinner.

Janitor: if anyone is a sinner around here it is you.

J.D.: Why are you sitting here?

Janitor: I don't know, some nurse told me to.

J.D.: Now was that so hard? (Starts to walk away)

Janitor: I'll get you yet Jason Dorian! (Calls after him)

J.D.: Still wrong! (Calls over his shoulder)

Janitor: what is wrong with me today? (gets up and walks away)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 2

EXAMINING ROOM. CARLA AND ELLIOT ARE STANDING IN FRONT OF A SLEEPING ANDREA

Carla: Okay she is heavily sedated now. We can take off the restraints.

Elliot: That was a good idea tying her down like that.

Carla: careful taking them off. I don't want to wake her up and have her bite me again. She bit through the skin!

Elliot: She is feistier then Jordan.

Jordan: (shows up) who's feistier then me?

Elliot: Where did you come from?

Jordan: I thought I heard my name.

Carla: we were just talking about your stepdaughter.

Jordan: Stepdaughter, what stepdaughter?

Elliot: (to Carla) she must be in denial that someone could be crazier then her. (to Jordan) Don't play dumb, Andrea.

Jordan: (looks at the sleeping form) her?

Elliot: yeah! How could you forget? She is as much of a loony toon as you and Dr. Cox.

Jordan: (Screams) Perry!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 3

NURSES STATION. PERRY CAN BE HEARD THROUGH OUT THE HOSPITAL

Perry: (looks at JD) Did you hear that?

J.D.: No but did you hear this (burps) Green!

INTERNS AND ATTENDINGS YELL COLORS OUT LOUD

J.D.: Sorry snoop intern looks like you loose (smiles smugly)

Snoop Intern: (grabs chest) yum-yum.

Perry: Newbie, while I thoroughly enjoyed you making a bigger ass out of yourself then I assumed you where, I have to go hide for Jordan. Her hormones are out of whack and I still haven't told her about Andrea.

J.D.: (walks down the hallway with Perry) What? How could you not tell her?

Perry: Well seeing as I haven't told her about it ever, it hasn't been that hard Barbra.

J.D.: Dr. Cox….

Jordan: (walks up to them) Perry!

Perry: I have to go! (runs and jumps on the elevator)

J.D. :( scared) Hi Jordan

Jordan: Next time you see Perry, you page me or you will never be able to…

CARLA AND ANDREA WALK UP

Andrea: (is using Carla to stand up and she points at J.D.) You. I need more pills. ASAP.

J.D.: Jordan, hold that thought. I have to go! (smiles and walks over to Andrea and helps her back to her room)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 4

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Turk: No more bottles of beer on the wall!!!

Dr. Kelso: Turkleton, you better think of another song to sing or I'll fire you. I have heard that song about ten times now.

Turk: There are windows! (Stands up and points to them) has there been windows in here the entire time or am I hallucinating?

Dr. Kelso: they have been there the entire time.

Turk: (turns to look at Kelso) Why haven't you told me?

Dr. Kelso: because it was more entertaining to watch you make an ass out of yourself.

Turk: (walks over to the windows and opens them up) ahhh…

Dr. Wen: (Voice Over) Paging Dr. Turk to the OR.

Turk: (looks at Kelso) we got to get these doors open.

Dr. Kelso: Son you might not have noticed this but I am not as in shape as I used to be.

Turk: (slamming his body against the door) Help!!!

Dr. Kelso: Just swallow your pride and apologize to your wife and ask her for help.

Turk: Yeah… I should

(cut to outside the door)

Carla: I told you to let him out after lunch!

Janitor: It is after lunch…

Carla: You know what I mean… (Tries to move the treadmill) Will you help me?

Janitor: what's the magic word?

Carla: (sighs and rubs her chest) yum-yum.

Janitor: Okay! (helps her move the treadmill)

Turk: (opens the door) Baby I am so…

Carla: No its my fault. Now just get down to surgery. We can talk about it later.

Turk: (kisses her) love you baby (runs off)

Dr. Kelso: (walks out of the lounge)

Carla :( shocked) Dr. Kelso you were in there the whole time?

Dr. Kelso: Yes I was locked in there with your lunatic husband.

Carla: I am so sorry Sir...

Dr. Kelso: it's quite alright.

Carla: wait? You're not mad?

Dr. Kelso: No, it saved me from doing work all day and I didn't have to get pestered by whiny interns all day. I should be thanking you.

Carla :( uppity) well no problem.

Dr. Kelso: But I wasn't going to. Now get back to work!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 5

EXAMINING ROOM

J.D.: alright, you should be fine to go home, but we are going to have to do a follow up exam again in a week.

Andrea: (still drowsy) that's just because you want to see my boobs again.

J.D.: _oh did I. _ You need to be careful over the next couple of days and don't lift anything to heavy.

Andrea: Okay doc, whatever you say. (starts to get up and walk to the door but falls)

J.D.: Alright why don't you just stay here while I go find your ride? _Working at the hospital has taught me many things. And the one of those things are that relationships are important. You can't do all the work by yourself so you are going to have to rely on someone else._

TURK AND CARLA'S APARTMENT

J.D.: _sometimes things get heated and you say things you don't mean.  
_

Turk: Baby before I didn't mean what I said. I do want our children to speak Spanish.

Carla: I know you were just caught up in the heat of the moment.

Turk: I was. (Silence) now don't you have something to say to me?

Carla: I don't want you to teach our kids stupid games.

Turk: but the games will teach them about the different colors.

Carla: (laughs)

JORDAN AND PERRYS APARTMENT

J.D.: _ other times you don't say anything at all when you should._

Jordan: How could you not tell me something like this Perry? I know that our relationship is mostly built upon deceit but this is something you have got to tell me!

Perry: (just sits on the couch unsure of what to do)

Jordan: How can you just sit there? Don't you have anything to say to me?

Perry: (removes the cotton from his ears) Are you done yet?

Jordan: Perry… blow it out your ass.

HOSPITAL ENTRANCE

Andrea: (walks up to JD) You think you could drive me home?

J.D: Who was supposed to drive you home?

Andrea: Perry, but I felt bad that I caused him so much trouble with Jordan so I let him go .

J.D.: Yeah alright… but I don't have a car.

Andrea: (tosses him her keys)

OUTSIDE OF ANDREA'S APARTMENT

J.D.: _And other times relationships change by hearing something you never expected to hear._

Andrea: Thanks for driving me home.

J.D.: So why are you always so mean at work?

Andrea: That's how I act when I get to some place new because I'm scared.

J.D.: Really?

Andrea: No, but I like you so… I'm being nice.

J.D.: Really?

Andrea: Yeah… but the only reason I'm telling you this is because of the drugs.

J.D.: Yeah I figured.

Andrea: So are you going to come in or not?

J.D.: Do I get to see your boobs and not for just exam purposes.

Andrea: why are you even asking? I know you would come in even if you don't get to see them.

J.D.: You're right. Lets go.

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT


	3. My big date

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

**My Big Date**

ACT 1

SCENE 1

J.D. AND ANDREA ARE LAYING IN HER BED AT HER APARTMENT

J.D.: _its nice waking up in a new place with a pretty girl I didn't sleep much last night because I stayed up and watched Andrea sleep. It's the only time where she looks peaceful and not going to hurt me._

ANDREA KICKS HIM IN THE LEG

J.D.: _Ow! Or not, anyway she looked like an angel. I wonder if this is what Dr. Cox looks like when he sleeps_

JORDAN AND PERRY'S APARTMENT

PERRY IS LYING NEXT TO JORDAN WITH HIS NOSTRIALS FLARED LIKE A BULL.

ANDREA'S APARTMENT

J.D.: _Maybe not… wait why am I thinking about Dr. Cox when I'm in bed with a hot girl?_

Andrea: (wakes up and screams)

J.D.: Good morning sunshine!

Andrea: (pushes him out of bed) what are you doing here?

J.D.: (on the floor behind the bed) you asked me to spend the night.

Andrea: (confused) when did I do that? Why would I do that?

J.D.: You asked me to give you a ride home.

Andrea: And you took that as you could ride me?

J.D.: You crashed as soon as you hit the pillow.

Andrea: Oh thank god.

J.D.: And last night you told me you liked me.

Andrea: Damn. I really need to lay off the valium.

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1

SCENE 2

ENTRANCE OF SACRED HEART

J.D.: _so after the awkwardness of this morning Andrea gave me a ride to work. Even though she made me get out of the car two blocks away, it was still really sweet of her. _(Walks up to the nurses station)

Andrea: What took you so long? I have been waiting for you for about twenty minutes.

J.D.: (opens his mouth to speak)

Andrea: (cuts him off) we have a patient in 212 that needs a spinal tap. (Walks away)

Elliot: (walks up to him and shoves a bag at him) Where were you last night?

J.D.: Thanks for bringing my scrubs Elliot.

Elliot: Well you can't wear the same ones you wore yesterday… oh wait… you did the walk of shame.

J.D.: Well … not exactly.

Janitor: Then why did I see you walking a block to work?

J.D.: I like singing in the rain.

Elliot: No you don't, you hate the rain more then you hate snow cones.

J.D.: Come on, it's just frozen flavored water. Anyone could have thought of that. And it doesn't even taste that good. (Starts to walk down the hall with Elliot in toe)

Elliot: So come on, out with it.

J.D.: Well I gave Andrea a ride home last night…. And

Elliot: And then you rode her?

J.D.: No I did not ride her…

Elliot: I figured that you wouldn't get her in the sack; she is out of your league.

J.D.: She rode me.

Elliot: (amazed) really?

J.D.: Uh yeah…..

Elliot: So what's she like?

J.D.: she is uh… well… you know I don't kiss and tell.

Elliot: Oh please! When you and I where together you told everyone. (flash back to J.D. running around the hospital yelling I made out with Elliot)

J.D.: Not true.

Elliot: Yeah because remember Dr. Kelso thought you were gay for like a week and tried to set you up with his son. Well that really didn't have anything to do with him thinking you're gay.

J.D.: Nu uh…

Andrea: (is down the hall) Dr. Dorian lets go!

J.D.: (to Elliot) I got to go.

Elliot: Oh a quickie before rounds? (As J.D. walks away)

Jordan: (walks out from a patient's room) So DJ slept with Perry's daughter?

Elliot: Uhh... No?

Jordan: Because that's not what I heard. (Holds up a tape recorder and plays J.D saying she rode me)

Elliot: Frick!

Jordan: wow… I wonder how Perry will react…

Elliot: you wouldn't actually do that would you?

Jordan: (looks at her strangely) are you new here?

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 3

INT. ENTRANCE

Perry: Alright Mr. Coreman… what are you here for this week?

Mr. Coreman: I have been having a lot of pain in my stomach these last couple of days. (looks like he is in sever pain)

Perry: Alright Mr. Coreman I'll admit you.

Mr. Coreman: Remember, you said free medical care for life.

Perry: Yes I remember, I also remember getting woken up at two in the morning after a double shift last week because you had an abnormality growing on your foot.

Mr. Coreman: Well I wanted to be sure it was a wart.

Perry: any genus at the free clinic could have told you that one.

Mr. Coreman: Thanks for your home number again.

Perry: No problem… so why don't you go on to triage while I go grab your file.

Mr. Coreman: See ya in a few doc.

Perry: (fake smile) can't wait!

Carla: (at desk) Good morning Dr. Cox!

Perry: Yeah… what's so good about it?

Carla: Rough night?

Perry: Jordan didn't take the news on Andrea very well.

Carla: Couldn't see that one coming…

Perry: Alright, maybe I should have told her… but she can't be mad at me for doing something that happened before we were together.

Carla: Lying by omission is still lying.

Perry: That's all marriage is…

Carla: You should just go apologize, I'm sure she would be willing to accept Andrea as part of the family.

Perry: What family? We aren't even married!

Carla: You have been living with her for how long?

Perry: about four years…

Carla: Three more to go and you guys are married again.

Perry: What?

Carla: A common law marriage

Perry: if they have something like that to make it easy for people to marry they should have something that easy for a divorce.

Carla: Look she is pregnant, she is taking things a little bit harder then she normally would.

Perry: If men just slipped a little whiskey in their wives drinks when they knocked them up this world would be a happier place.

Carla: Hey! I'm pregnant too you know.

Perry: You're right; I'll go talk to Gandhi.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 4

EXAMINING ROOM

J.D.: Alright Ms. Davis we are going to put in an order for a cat scan.

Andrea: Excuse me Ms. Davis but Dr. Dorian (gets bitchy) I need to see you outside.

J.D.: (follows Andrea outside) what?

Andrea: That is our patient which means we have to decide together how we are going to treat her. You have to consult me first before you go off ordering things.

J.D.: Ms. Davis needs a cat scan.

Andrea: No she doesn't, she had a twenty minute panic attack and then blacked out for forty five minutes. She did not respond to the vinsky reflex, she could have had an aneurism. We need to give her a spinal tap.

J.D.: I really don't think it is that serious.

Andrea: Ms. Davis has been in and out of the hospital for the past three months because of the same problem and no doctor here has given her a spinal tap. I think its time someone did it. So go back in there and tell her.

J.D.: Is this about last night?

Andrea: (angrily) What are you talking about?

J.D.: You are embarrassed about last night so now you have to act like little miss know it all so you feel better about yourself.

Andrea: I don't have to act, I do know it all. And second of all I am not embarrassed about last night.

J.D.: Prove it.

Andrea: Okay, pick me up at seven.. (Getting pissed off)

J.D.: It's a date! (Yells at her)

Andrea: (louder) now go back in there and tell her we are giving her a spinal tap!

J.D.: Fine!

(Back in the examining room)

Ms. Davis: What are you so happy about?

J.D.: (smiling) I have a date.

Ms. Davis: With who?

J.D.: Dr. Cox.

Ms. Davis: That evil blood sucking woman that was just in here?

J.D.: Yeah isn't she lovely?

(Cut back into the hallway)

Jordan: (walks up to Andrea) So I heard from unnamed source (coughs) Dr. Reid (coughs) that you did the horizontal mattress dance with Dr. Beanpole.

Andrea: What the hell are you talking about?

Jordan: Oh don't hide it honey, I had sex with him too… Well its not something I go around telling people either but…

Andrea: What?

Jordan: Do you think I'm stupid…. I know you didn't have sex with DJ… but he is going around saying you did.

Andrea: that jackass just tricked me into a date.

Jordan: And you call yourself Perry's daughter.

Andrea: So what am I going to do?

Jordan: Sweetie, if you are going to be part of this family you got to think on your feet.

Andrea: Sorry I'm just in shock that I got a fast one pulled on me. This has only happened like twice in my life

Jordan: If we team up, we can rule the hospital.

Andrea: But you already rule the hospital, you are on the board of trustee's

Jordan: Fine we can have Perry and DJ by the balls.

Andrea: And why should I trust you?

Jordan: Because I have been screwing your father over for years now… but ever since Jack got here it's been harder. I need you're help.

Andrea: (looks shocked) I'm honored. I know you have never said that before.

Jordan: Alright let's go to my office so I can tell you what we have got to do.

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2

SCENE 1

LUNCHROOM

Elliot: (runs up to the table Carla is at and slams her tray down) you have got to help me.

Carla: What happened?

Elliot: Well this morning J.D. was gloating to me about how he slept with Andrea and Jordan heard the entire thing and she is going to tell Dr. Cox.

Carla: What J.D. slept with that bitch?

Elliot: Carla focus, Jordan is going to tell Dr. Cox. (Looks over and sees Andrea and Jordan sitting at a table together) Oh no!

Carla: What? She is probably just getting Andrea's side of the story.

Elliot: They look awfully buddy-buddy… You don't think that they teamed up so that Dr. Cox would kill J.D.

Carla: Woo… Elliot, I'm cutting you off from chocolate. (takes candy bar off her tray)

Elliot: give it back! (she says reaching for it)

Carla: Elliot, don't fight with a pregnant woman if you want to keep both your arms (opens candy bar and starts to eat it)

J.D AND TURK JOIN THEM

Carla: What are you so happy about Bambi?

J.D.: I have a date tonight with Andrea.

Turk: I still don't see why that would make anyone happy. Except a deaf blind man.

Carla: Bambi likes her because she is controlling so he can't make decisions. Which means he doesn't have to think about the relationship, cause once he starts to think about the relationship…

Turk and Elliot: He freaks out.

J.D.: I do not freak out.

Carla: Yes you do, you did it with Elliot and Kylie…

Turk: Marcy in college…

Elliot: sometimes you can even get that way with patients.

J.D.: Carla, you're nosey you know that. (gets up and starts to leave)

Carla: well to bad you think that because I know something that you don't know…

J.D.: What are you four?

Carla: Jordan knows you slept with Andrea.

J.D.: What?

Turk: (laughs)

Elliot: Yeah he deserves to get whatever she is planning.

Turk: No… he didn't even sleep with Andrea… he just said that to you this morning cause you were giving him a hard time.

J.D.: Seems like none of my friends can keep there mouth shuts.

Everyone at the table begins to laugh.

Turk: This can't get any better

Andrea: (walks over to J.D.) So for our date tonight, we are going to have dinner at Jordan and Perry's. (Kisses his cheek and walks away)

Turk: I spoke too soon!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 2

PATIENTS ROOM

Perry: So what have you been experiencing?

Mr. Coreman: Bloody diarrhea

Perry: (makes a face) how can you say that contently?

Mr. Coleman: Because this isn't going to cost me a thing.

Perry: Alright, we are going to have to do some blood work.

Mr. Coleman: Do you need me to give you a stool sample?

Perry: (disgustedly) No. We are going to use a needle to draw your blood from your arm. You've got a sick sense of humor. (walks out of the room)

Jordan: Perry!

Perry: Oh… (Grunts then turn around to face her) Yes sweetheart? (Fake happy)

Jordan: I just wanted to let you know that Andrea will be coming over for dinner tonight.

Perry: Oh won't that be delightful.

Jordan: And she is going to bring a date.

Perry: (pissed off) Now Jordan, I know you are just trying to get my hypertension through the rough so that I could die and you might be able to get your gold digging paws around my life insurance policy. But there is a flaw in your plan because you see since we got divorced my will has everything left to Andrea. And I know how you rehellleally want that money so maybe you should just wait three more years when you are my common law wife before you try to kill me.

Jordan: I'm not out for your money, I got more money from you in the divorce then I would get from your life insurance policy. Believe me; I had my lawyer check that out when we were separated.

Perry: Fine go along with this little plan but believe me when we are married again next divorce you are going to have to pay me alimony.

Jordan: I control this hospital, which means I control you (she yells as he walks away)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 3

INT. HOSPTIAL ENTRANCE. JD IS SIGNING OUT AND TURK WALKS UP.

Turk: Good luck man.

J.D.: Thanks,

Turk: I'm sorry about earlier … it wasn't even that funny.

J.D.: I know…

Turk: But you think you could do me a favor?

J.D.: Name it.

Turk: Video tape the dinner for me tonight. Now that's going to be hilarious.

J.D. WALKS OFF

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 4

JORDAN AND PERRY'S APARTMENT

Perry: Why are we having dinner with them anyway? No one is going to eat because of all the tension and because you're cooking is toxic. We should just invite them over for drinks and open up your medicine cabinet. Now I know mixing pills and liquor is bad but it will give me something to do tomorrow instead of just spend the whole day avoiding you.

Jordan: Aww honey you ruined my whole plan. See I really did want all that money so I was going to poison your food… but I guess there are too many witnesses so I guess that plans out.

KNOCK ON THE DOOR

Jordan: Oh good they are here! (opens door)

Andrea: (walks in and hugs Perry) Daddy!

Perry: So where is your date?

Andrea: Oh he is just being shy. (calls out the door) Come in honey! (when no one comes in) Hold on. (walks out into the hallway and pulls J.D. in by the collar)

Perry: Newbie?

J.D.: Dr. Cox. (waves)

Perry: You two are dating?

Andrea: (smiles evilly) Oh yeah, and we slept together last night.

Perry: (starts walking towards J.D.) You what…

J.D.: No no, she fell asleep when we got back to her place.

Perry: And you raped her while she slept.

J.D.: No! I just slept in the bed with her.. and look at the time. I should be going (runs out of the door with Dr. Cox quickly behind him) _ I learned something today, Lying whether it be by omission…_

(cut to Perry and Jordan's apartment)

Perry: (walks in)

Jordan: Feel better now after you kicked the crap out of DJ?

Perry: Look Jordan, I am sorry that I didn't tell you about Andrea… I left her because I couldn't deal with it and I felt like if I didn't tell anyone about it I wouldn't ever have to deal with it.

Jordan: Why did you think that? You know God's out to get you.

Perry: I know.

Jordan: Oh and by the way… we do not have to get married again even if we do live with each other for seven years.

Perry: We don't?

Jordan: Yeah as long as I don't want to take your name. And why would I want to do that? Cox is a really bad last name.

Perry: I knew there was a reason I loved you.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 5

ANDREA'S APARTMENT

J.D.: _Or just by blatantly lying are equally as wrong._ Andrea, I'm sorry I don't even know why I said that.

Andrea: It was really immature.

J.D.: yeah well I can be that way sometimes.

Andrea: But I mean I can see why you would say that. I mean I know I'm hot and most of the doctors at the hospital would be jealous of you.

J.D.: (laughs)

Andrea: (laughs) no but I am flattered.

J.D.: Yeah well I think I have a broken rib.

Andrea: That's what you get for pissing off my dad.

J.D.: Your dad didn't even lay a hand on me. I fell running down the stairs away from him.

Andrea: Well you better start thinking of better ways to out smart my dad.

J.D.: I have been working with him for five years and I still can't do it.

Andrea: You got to do something different if we are going to date.

J.D.: Really? We are going to date.

Andrea: Yeah, I have a confession to make too. I was embarrassed for telling you the way that I did that I like you. But I do. And I call the shots in the relationships. So be careful or you won't just have one Cox out to get you.

J.D.: (salutes her) Yes Ma'am.

Andrea: (points to the bedroom) now get in there! (slaps his ass)

J.D.: Are we gonna do it?

Andrea: No you are going to give me a foot massage after all the crap you put me through today.

J.D.: Ahh so that's what they call it now (Andrea pushes him and he grabs her arms and kisses her)

Andrea: Alright you have ten minutes to show me your best moves. If you are good I will consider it, if not you are sleeping on the couch.

J.D.: You can't just sprint through this, it's a marathon.

Andrea: Time starts now!

J.D.: (picks her up and throws her over her shoulder) ahh definitely broke a rib!

Andrea: (sarcastically) Oh that turns me on!

J.D.: Well then wait till you hear about the scar on my back (shuts the bedroom door)

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT

A/N: Sorry if the characters are a little off and if it wasn't that funny. I had a little trouble writing this. It didn't flow out as easy as the other one did. Hopefully next chapter is better!


	4. My Day Off

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I know the last one wasn't my best but I appreciate your responses! This one probably isn't that funny but is following more of the set up of the show and I was able to use most of the characters in this one. I definitely like this one better then the last one. So bare with me while I try to find my way. Thanks again!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

**My Day Off**

ACT 1

SCENE 1

J.D.: _Normally in relationships you have to put your partner first and your friends second. Turk and I always said that we would never do that, that we would make equal time. Well neither one of us has been able to keep up that bargin. And ever since I have been dating Andrea we have been seeing even less of each other. So you can imagine how happy I was when I found out that both of us had the day off._

CARLA & TURKS APARTMENT. JD KNOCKS ON THE DOOR

Turk: (walks up and opens the door) Dude do you know what time it is?

J.D.: I know it's four in the morning but I couldn't sleep, I couldn't wait to start hanging out on our day off.

Carla: (walks out of the kitchen with food in her hand) No way Bambi, I have the day off for a sonogram and Turks going with me.

Turk: Come on baby, I have been spending every night with you for the past two weeks.

Carla: No, this is important for me, its our baby.

Turk: What if I could find someone else to go with you?

Carla: If you can find someone else to go with me and start on the nursery I'll think about it.

Turk: What if I find someone else to go with you, start on the nursery and give Rowdy to J.D.

Carla: Have fun on your day off. I'm going back to bed (kisses him on the cheek and walks out of the room)

J.D.: How are you going to find someone to go with Carla to get her sonogram?

Turk: I over heard Jordan tell Dr. Cox that she has an appointment with Dr. Matthews today.

J.D.: But doesn't she go see Dr. Matthews's everyday?

Turk: Yeah but now she will just have another excuse to be there.

J.D.: That was brilliant C- Bear.

Turk: Yeah now I'm going back to bed. I might actually get some sleep once Carla leaves for her appointment.

J.D.: What am I going to do?

Turk: Call Jordan and tell her she is going to Carla's appointment with her.

J.D.: And then what?

Turk: I don't care… sleep on the couch?

J.D.: _This isn't exactly how I saw Turk and I spending our day off but maybe it will get better once we both had a little bit of sleep._

TURKS ROOM, MORNING. TURK IS SLEEPING BY HIMSELF AND JD RUNS IN AND JUMPS ON HIS BED.

JD: Wake up buddy!

Turk: (sits up) Come on its my day off!

JD: Carla told me to wake you up at nine if you didn't get up.

Turk: Did you even sleep?

JD: No, I stayed up and watched infomercials all night.

Turk: Did you see the one for the new sleeping pills?

JD: Yeah the guy had a squeaky voice. It was pretty funny.

Turk: Maybe you should have bought some.

JD: We got to get started on the nursery.

Turk: Oh no, see I got to get started on the nursery. You aren't going to help. Last time you tried to build something you broke the cabinet in the kitchen and the door fell off and hit Elliot in the head.

JD: Yeah she had to get three stitches and get her tooth capped.

Turk: And I am not going to the hospital on my day off.

J.D.: Far enough, I will keep you company while you build the crib.

Turk: Yeah but we don't have to do that right away.

JD: Well what did we do at nine on our day off when we used to live together?

Turk: The smirffs are on!

J.D.: _ Some things never change…_

LIVING ROOM. THE BOYS RUN IN AND SIT ON THE COUCH EATING CEREAL AND WATCHING THE SMIRFFS

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1

SCENE 2

THE OBGYN WAITING ROOM IN THE HOSPITAL

Carla: I can't believe you are the one Turk got to come with me. (Sitting down looking mad)

J.D.: _And sometimes you find comfort in from someone new…_

Jordan: Yeah well, I practically live down here anyway.

Carla: I forgot he calls you Jay-Jay.

Jordan: Perry kind of ruined the plan; he got me knocked up so Dr. Matthews thinks I'm in a relationship.

Carla: But you are in a relationship

Jordan: Yeah but I don't go around flaunting it.

Carla: This place seems a little cramped today.

Jordan: Yeah the hospital is giving a break on OBGYN appointments to help poor families. It's very nice of them… I think it's because I keep forgetting to go to meetings...

Carla: You only have four meetings a year.

Jordan: It's usually at a really inconvenient time of the year for me. Like when Perry goes out of town or when my girlfriends come down for the week.

Carla: I wish I only had to work four days a year.

Jordan: Yeah it gives you a lot of free time to do whatever you want. Like prowl for college boys.

Carla: So how's everything going with Dr. Cox?

Jordan: Oh we are doing good… He is still paying for lying to me but he will be doing that for the rest of his life.

Carla: (sarcastically) It's really amazing after all the things you and Dr. Cox have gone through you are still in a healthy relationship.

Jordan: You want to know our secret?

Carla: secret to what?

Jordan: keeping our relationship working.

Carla: you guys have a secret to that?

Jordan: angry sex is so much better then regular sex.

Carla: So you guys just piss each other off to have angry sex.

Jordan: Well we don't really get along anyway so it's not that hard.

Carla: Well more power to you.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 3

UPSTAIRS AT THE ICU. NURSES STATION

Elliot: so who are you doing rounds with?

Andrea: I'm not sure. JD is off today.

Elliot: Finally I won't have to see you guys making out in the hallway.

Andrea: What are you talking about? we never do that.

Elliot: oh that's right, Turk and Carla.

Andrea: Yeah they both have the day off too. I'm all by myself.

Elliot: Why are you acting like a human lately?

Andrea: What do you mean? I act like this all the time.

Elliot: Yeah uh, last week you were acting like the heartless Scott Peterson and this week you are like Mother Teresa.

Andrea: (smugly) well I wouldn't say that.

Elliot: Turk and Carla don't even like you, they are just happy JD is in a relationship where he can't make any decisions.

Andrea: And how do you know so much Blondie?

Elliot: Cause I dated him.

J.D.: _And sometimes you bond over similar experiences_

Andrea: What, is he like the hospital bike? Everyone gets a ride?

Elliot: No that would be Dr. Mathias in PCU

Andrea: Isn't he old?

Elliot: Yeah but he still gets more action then a prostitute.

Andrea: Alright so who slept with him?

Elliot: Dr. Briggs, the flower shop lady, he tried to sleep with Dr. Clock… oh and the laundry lady.

Andrea: She doesn't have any hair.

Elliot: He didn't really want to sleep with her. I just wanted to see your reaction so I could get a mental picture. Hold that pose (pretends to be holding a camera and takes a picture)

Andrea: Anything else you got to tell me?

Elliot: Walk with me Dr. Cox, walk with me.

BOTH WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY AND PERRY AND DR. KELSO WALK INTO THE SPOT THE GIRLS WERE BOTH JUST IN.

Dr. Kelso: (cheerfully) Why Perry you seem to be in an awful mood.

Perry: That's because Bob, my daughter is bumping uglys with Dorian.

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian always seems to make my life easier.

Doug: (runs up to them) Dr. Kelso!

Dr. Kelso: But Doug always seems to get on my nerves. (starts to walk away)

Perry: (smiles) Thanks for cherring me up!

Doug: (runs past Perry) Dr. Kelso! Something very bad has happened.

Dr. Kelso: So that's why you have paged me ever two minutes for the last half an hour.

Doug: Good you got them, I thought I had the wrong number.

Dr. Kelso: so you just kept paging it?

Doug: No, I have been paging everyone.

Lavern: Creepy, I only work with the morgue when I have to call them when people die. I don't know how you got my pager number, but stop beeping me or you will be going back down there in a body bag (walks past them)

Doug: See?

Dr. Kelso: What is it Doug?

Doug: I can't find Mr. Treadway's body… and I…

Dr. Kelso: What? How can you loose a dead body?

Doug: Uh.. I… um…

Dr. Kelso: They can't just get up and walk away!

Doug: What are we going to do Dr. Kelso?

Dr. Kelso: we are going to have to look for it. But don't tell anyone or else I will fire you for losing it.

J.D.: _While still others you are forced to spend time doing something you don't want to do with someone you don't want to be around._

Dr. Kelso: Don't just stand there Doug! Get moving… a dead body isn't just going to fall out of the sky.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 4

CARLA AND TURKS APARTMENT, J.D.'S OLD ROOM.

JD: I don't understand why you guys are turning this into the nursery. Where am I going to stay when I visit?

Turk: Dude, you live in the same town as. You go back to Andrea's anyway…

J.D.: This is the end of an era.

Turk: you have been living at Elliot's for a year.

J.D.: Yeah but you left it the same.

Turk: All your stuff is gone. So yeah the room is going to look the same as you left it.

J.D.: It's just sad…

Turk: You need to get your own apartment dude.

J.D.: When I get a house I'm going to paint the walls red and gold.

Turk: Why?

J.D.: They are Gryffindor colors.

Turk: You need to lay off the Harry Potter.

J.D.: I'm really sad, there is only one more book left.

Turk: You don't even read the books.

J.D.: Well why would I do that if they make movies about it?

Turk: They only made four of them.

J.D.: Is everything alright Turk? You seem kind of testy. _Ha! That's a funny word._

Turk: It's just the baby gets closer and closer to being here and I just don't think I'm going to be a good dad.

J.D.: Turk you are going to be a great dad! I mean look how good you took care of me… and Carla. So who is going to be the godfather?

Turk: Well my vote right now is for you but Carla's is for her brother and she can veto my vote.

J.D.: Well who is going to be the godmother?

Turk: Elliot.

J.D.: well just say you want someone she hates to be the godmother and she'll back down.

Turk: Who is that?

J.D.: Andrea!

Turk: Do you really think that Andrea would be okay with you being godparent to my baby with your ex girlfriend?

J.D.: Ahh she won't care as long as she is drunk at the ceremony.

PHONE RINGS

J.D.: (answers it) Oh hi baby, no I didn't forget to call you on your lunch break (to Turk) I totally did…

Andrea: I know you did. 

J.D.: Yeah I did… so how is work.

Andrea: Well I had an interesting conversation with Elliot today.

J.D.: Oh yeah?

Andrea: So you have dated most of the staff at the hospital?

J.D.: What's that Turk? You got your head stuck putting the crib together. I got to go baby! See you later (hangs up) Yeah… she is going to care…

Turk: Dude, that was weak.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1

SCENE 5

CAFETERIA

Andrea: (in the lunch line) Look, Jordan and Carla are here for lunch! (points to them) lets go sit with them.

Elliot: Why do you want to go over there?

Andrea: Because I want to fix things with Carla.

Elliot: Frick! I don't have enough money for lunch.

Andrea: (to cashier) I got her (hands her some money)

Elliot: (surprised) Thanks!

Andrea: No problem. 

Elliot and Andrea (at the same time): I love Taco day! Jinx, you owe me a coke.

Andrea: So what else do we have in common besides JD and our love of Tacos?

Elliot: Hey when you have to sit though Harry Potter with JD do you tune out and think of what it would be like to bang Professor Snape?

Andrea: No… but I won't tell anyone you said that.

Elliot: Awesome!

Andrea: right…

Elliot: What are you doing after work?

Andrea: Making JD make me dinner.

Elliot: Do you… I don't know what to go out for drinks…

Andrea: Yeah! Sounds good.

Elliot: Cool.

WALK OVER AND SIT WITH JORDAN AND CARLA.

Andrea: So what are you doing here on your day off?

Jordan: We both have appointments with Dr. Matthews.

Elliot: So how did they go?

Carla: They haven't yet. We have been waiting for two hours. So we decided to get some lunch.

Andrea: Yeah ever since they started that WIC program here it's been harder and harder to get an appointment.

Carla: You can say that again. Elliot, after you get off work you want to go baby clothes shopping with me?

Elliot: (looks at Andrea) Sorry Carla I can't, I have plans.

Carla: Oh are you and Keith going out on a date.

Elliot: Nope, Andrea and I are going out for drinks.

Carla: (jealous) oh sounds like fun! I want to go.

Elliot: But you can't drink. Why don't you go with Jordan?

Andrea: Yeah it should be fun for you since your both pregnant!

Jordan: Good idea! The new baby won't be able to wear any of Jack's clothes. I don't want people to mistake it for a boy.

Carla: (fake) Yay! This should be fun.

Elliot: (smiles) Great!

Andrea: Elliot, we should get back to work before Dr. Mathias sits down or…

Elliot: (looks and see Dr. Mathias enter lunchroom) Bye Carla, Bye Jordan.

Carla: (looks up to see Dr. Mathias and then back to Andrea and Elliot's empty chairs)

Dr. Mathias: Do you two young ladies mind if I join you.

Carla: Actually…

Jordan: Oh go ahead Joe…

Carla: (Jordan) What do you think you are doing?

Jordan: How do you think I got my job?

Dr. Mathias: (smiles at Jordan and underneath the table is rubbing his foot against what he thinks is her leg)

Jordan: (smiles back)

Carla: Ew! Get your foot off my leg you pervert!

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2

SCENE1

NURSES STATION

Perry: Damnit Lavern, how long does it take to get labs back?

Lavern: Well ever since they let all those poor women come in for pregnancy tests, the Labs have been pushed back.

Perry: Bob! (Calls as he sees Dr. Kelso walk towards him)

Dr. Kelso: Perry, Can't you see I'm busy?

Perry: I know how avoiding work can really keep you on the move but since when have you allowed that new program for poor pregnant woman to be instated.

Dr. Kelso: (bitterly) that was not up to me, it was up to the board of trustees. The vote was tight and had your wife been there it would have not happened. Do you really think I would allow for that to happen? I would never treat patients without insurance if I had my way. That's what the free clinic is for! (continues walking)

Perry: (catches up with him and walks with him) Well what am I supposed to do about Mr. Coreman's blood work? I can't treat him until I get the results back. All I can continue to do is pump him with anti acid.

Dr. Kelso: Perry, Mr. Coreman is a hypochondriac. I don't care what you do with him. Right now I got to find a dead body. (walks off)

Perry: If you had your way Bob, you would charge anyone that stepped foot in here!

Doug: (runs past spastically) Dr. Kelso… security thinks the found out who did it!

Lavern: Dr. Cox, Mr. Coreman's vitals are dropping…

Perry: (shakes his head and runs off)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 2

OBGYN WAITING ROOM

Carla: I have had enough. I have sat here for five hours now! This is ridiculous. I am going to give that nurse a piece of my mind

Jordan: You go girl!

Carla: I have been sitting here for about five hours now waiting for an appointment I had with Dr. Matthews. I didn't just walk in here like the rest of them (points to all the poor women sitting there)

Nurse: And what is your name?

Carla: Carla Espinosa.

Nurse: (looks at computer) We called you around 12:30 but no one was here we waited fifteen minutes before we gave your appointment to another patient.

Carla: What?

Nurse: You are going to have to reschedule your appointment.

Carla: Oh no, I don't think so. I work here! I am not using another one of my days off to sit around and wait to see Dr. Matthews for ten minutes. You will find another time slot for me.

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF THE HOSPITAL

Jordan: (walks out of hospital and sits on bench with Carla)

Carla: So how was your appointment?

Jordan: Dr. Matthews was backed up so I got this girl that was the most incompetent thing I have ever met in my life. She didn't even know what the stirrups where for.

Carla: Yeah well for the way I talked to that nurse I have to find a new gynecologist.

Jordan: I'm surprised you got out of the waiting room alive after you insulted all those poor women.

Carla: I hid out in the doctor's lounge until it was safe.

Jordan: I really need to start going to board meetings again. So you still want to go shopping?

Carla: Not really, I want to go and see how the nursery is coming along. Hopefully Turk wasted his day with JD so I have an excuse to take out what happened on him.

Jordan: Oh come on, what makes you feel better then spending your husband's money?

Carla: Well… maybe for a little while.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 3

CARLA AND TURKS APARTMENT, JD'S OLD ROOM HAS PIECES OF WOOD LAYING EVERYWHERE. NOTHING IS BUILT.

JD: maybe if we attach this long thingy to this little thingy we might be able to… oh never mind…

Turk: Why do you want to help so badly?

JD: Well we never get to do anything together anymore and I just thought if I helped you build this crib that whenever you walk into the room and you see the crib you will think of this day and how we built it together.

Turk: Regardless of whether you help me build this crib or not whenever I walk in this room I will think of you.

JD: (smiles)

Turk: Okay vanilla bear, let's go get some beer and watch the game before we turn into a bunch of girls.

JD: _Today I realized old friendships still can go the distance even if we didn't get to spend a lot of time together. _

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 4

BACK AT THE HOSPTIAL

Perry: (walks out of the patients room)

Lavern: Does he have any family we need to call.

Perry: No.

Lavern: Well now the labs are back…

Perry: It doesn't matter anymore, he's dead. How was I supposed to know it was e-coli if I can't get the labs back in time?

J.D.: _And that people you didn't expect you cared about could still have a profound effect on your life._

Doug: It was the same guy that was stealing the live organs!

Dr. Kelso: Well thank god we aren't going to get slapped with a lawsuit for that one.

Ted: (walks up) I'm afraid sir we still could, they could get us for negliance since we don't have enough security.

Dr. Kelso: The body is back… It can just be our little secret.

Doug: (Smiles)

JD: _And friendship can come from the mostly unlikeliest places _

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 5

CUT TO A RESTURANT IN THE MALL

Carla: Jordan, thanks for going shopping with me. Ever since JD started dating Andrea I never really see him or Elliot anymore.

Jordan; Don't take it personally, you and Elliot are just at different spots in your life. She'll still be aroud when you need her.

Carla: Wow, being pregnant agrees with you.

Jordan: Its all these stupid extra hormones. (to waiter) Hey you! I ordered water five minutes ago! What do you have to do around here to get service?

JD: _And that new friendships can mean as much as old friendships_

AT THE BAR. ELLIOT AND ANDREA ARE SITTING AT A TABLE

Elliot: Be careful JD is very conscious of his love handles.

Andrea: And he isn't even out of shape.

Elliot: I know!

Andrea: I had fun today, thanks Elliot.

Elliot: Me too, but I think I should go check on Carla. I let her spend the entire day with you step-mom… she is probably more power crazy then she was before.

Andrea: (smiles) Yeah I should probably cut him off (points to Perry at the bar) He is taking Mr. Coreman's death a little to hard.

Elliot: Okay. See you at work tomorrow.

Andrea: See ya. (walks up to the bar and turns to her dad) Lets get you home.

Perry: No, I'm waiting for my drinking buddy.

Andrea: I am not going to let you drink with the janitor tonight. You had enough. ( pus his arm around her shoulder and helps him stand up) See you can't even support yourself.

Perry: Fine…

ANDREA HELPS PERRY OUT OF THE BAR

J.D.: _But it doesn't matter whether its old friends or new friends its just nice to know someone is in your corner rooting for you._

END OF SCENE

ACT 2

SCENE 6

ANDREA'S APARTMENT. JD IS IN BED AND ANDREA WALKS INTO THE BEDROOM.

Andrea: So how was your day?

JD: Good. I got to hang out with Turk all day. How was your first day in the hospital by yourself?

Andrea: Well I wasn't by myself (starts to change) Elliot was there.

J.D.: Yeah was she giving you a tough time?

Andrea: (slips into bed with him) No. I think we are friends. (smiles at him and gives him a kiss before laying down)

J.D.: (panicked) What?_ And sometimes friends just plain old screw you over._

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT


	5. My Maria

A/N: Alright so I didn't see all the episodes in season 5 and I realize that in the last episode I had the part about the nursery which was done on the show… so sorry. In this episode JD has another fantasy scene about west side story but not like the one in season one. I hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

**My Maria**

ACT 1  
SCENE 1

JD IS IN ANDREA'S ROOM BY HIMSELF WITH THE DOOR OPEN

J.D.: _The thing about new relationships is that you are afraid to have your first fight because you are still learning about that person buttons. But your first fight makes you a real couple. After Andrea dropped the bomb about being friends with Elliot I decided that I should be honest with Andrea and tell her how I felt about that. _(walks out into the kitchen)

Andrea: (groggily) I made coffee.

J.D.: _She looks so cute in the morning with the crust in her eyes and her hair going every which way. Maybe I could get a little something- something before work… plus she is not a morning person so maybe I should save this talk till later._

FANTASY SCENE:

AT THE HOSPITAL AT THE NURSES STATION

J.D.: So Andrea… I was thinking that maybe you should get your own friends. And stop hanging out with mine.

Andrea: Okay.

J.D.: Really? You're not mad?

Andrea: I'm not mad. (all the hospital staff now paying attention)

J.D.: That's awesome.

Andrea: (getting madder, and turning into the hulk) I'm furious! Who are you to tell me who I can and can't hang out with? How about you grow a pair of balls and suck it up. Because I can tell you one thing I'm not backing down. And I will make you break waaaaaaaay before you can make me.

J.D.: (just stares at her)

Andrea: You want to go? Cause I'm so ready… you are going to be glad you are already in a hospital when I am done with you.

J.D.: (clicks heels together) there's no place like home….

END OF FANTASY SCENE

J.D.: (in kitchen still clicking his feet) there's no place like home…. There's no place like home.

Andrea: Okay Dorothy, I just asked you if you wanted to spend the weekend but if you want to go back to Elliot's…

J.D.: No that would be cool. _Alright now's the best time to tell her_

Andrea: Okay, I'm going to go get in the shower… (starts to walk away)

J.D.: Uh… actually I have to talk to you about something.

Andrea: (walks back) okay…

J.D.: So I think that its nice you are trying to become friends with my friends.

Andrea: Yeah they are really nice and I think it's important I'm friends with your friends. Because if I don't like them then this isn't going to work and I mean its hard being new here and not knowing anyone. It's really great of them to reach out like that.

J.D.: _crap… this is going to be harder then I thought. _(Fake smile) uh huh. But I think it would be good if you reached out and made your own friends, separate from mine.

Andrea: (sarcastically) um… okay…

J.D.: No I'm being serious.

Andrea: And so am I.

J.D.: Look it's not even that they are really friends with you. Like Turk, he only likes you cause you bought him the Brady Bunch on DVD and Elliot, she just likes to make fun of me in bed so that's all you guys have really bonded over.

Andrea: (frowns) and our love for taco's.

J.D.: Yeah whatever… And you even have an in with my mentor.

Andrea: He is my father!

J.D.: See the only person that isn't pretending to like you is Carla.

Andrea: and my father….

J.D.: Its just important if we don't spend all our time together.

Andrea: That won't be a problem.

J.D.: Really?

Andrea: Yeah because you won't be spending the weekend here. Now get out!

J.D.: (scared, walks to the door before closing it sticks his head in) See you at work Sweetie.

Andrea: (throws a pot at him. The pot hits him before he has a chance to close the door)

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1  
SCENE 2

NURSES STATION

Elliot: Hey Andrea, you want to do rounds today together?

Andrea :( reading something pretending to be uninterested) nope

Elliot: Okay, you want to get lunch later?

Andrea: Can't. (Closes file)

Elliot: What's wrong with you today?

Andrea: (faces her) J.D. said we couldn't be friends anymore (walks away)

Carla: (walks up) so what's going on?

Elliot: (disbelief) J.D. said that Andrea and I couldn't be friends anymore.

Carla: (ecstatic) that's great!

Elliot: What?

Carla: I mean that's terrible!

Elliot: I mean how can you tell someone who they can and can't hang out with?

Carla: I'm sure J.D. has got his reasons and is just looking out for your best interest.

J.D. :( Approaches them) actually I just think its weird if my ex girlfriend is friends with my girlfriend.

Elliot: You know you are a giant ass. Now all I got is Carla!

Carla: Hey!

Elliot: Sorry but you are just so self absorbed right now with this whole baby thing. I need other girlie friends. And J.D. I know you have some really gay tendencies but that doesn't count.

J.D.: I just think this is best.

Elliot: (walks past him) you shouldn't think.

J.D.: _Yeah this is really not working out for me…_

Perry: (whistles) Betty, get your ass over here.

J.D.: If this is about the bed pan thing… I really thought that Lavern cleaned that up.

Perry: What? Look Newbie, you really upset Andrea. Now while I don't want to get involved in your sick love fest you call a relationship, when she isn't happy I don't just have one hyena of a woman growling at me I have two. So you better go fix whatever you did to her and whatever you did with the bed pans. Or so help me your bruised rib won't be from falling down the stairs trying to get away from me. (Walks off)

J.D.: Oh don't you worry… the bed pans are already taken care of! (Calls after him)

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 3

CUT TO OPERATING ROOM

Turk: Alright Dr. Wen I'm ready for that triple bypass! (Walks in) You're not Dr. Wen.

Dr. Cunningham: I'm Dr. Cunningham, I'm a dentist. And I have this OR reserved to remove someone's wisdom teeth.

Turk: You don't need to use the OR to remove someone's wisdom teeth.

Dr. Cunningham: I know, but I just moved my practice here from Wisconsin and so the only place I have proper licensing to use anesthesia is in this hospital. So I had my secretary book this OR, which means that you won't be doing a triple bypass in here until at least (looks at watch) eleven.

Turk: You can't do that!

Dr. Cunningham: (walks towards him which gets Turk to retreat) I can and I did! (Slams door shut on Turks face)

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 4

CUT TO ENTRANCE

**  
**JD: Andrea, who are you doing rounds with today?

Andrea: Oh, I'm doing them with Keith.

JD: You don't want to do them together?

Andrea: Nope…

JD: Still mad about this morning?

Andrea: You are very receptive to people's feelings. Come on Dr. Dudemiester!

Keith: (walks up) Good morning Dr. Dorian.

JD: (walks with them) I can't believe you are doing this.

Andrea: You told me to make my own friends so I am.

JD: Yeah with Elliot's boyfriend.

Andrea: So you are friends with Keith's girlfriend.

JD: You are crazy!

Andrea: (walks off with Keith) Like I never heard that one before!

Jordan :( walks up to him) so sensitive sally, trouble in paradise?

J.D: aren't you supposed to be waxing your upper lip?

Jordan: Jacks at school and Perry is working, I don't have much going on.

J.D.: There's no bars open at this hour?

Jordan: Why do you care so much about who Andrea hangs out with?

J.D.: This isn't any of your business.

Jordan: I know, but it's funny to see you squirm.

J.D.: Are you just going to follow me around until I tell you?

Jordan: Well now I'm going to…

J.D.: Fantastic

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2  
SCENE 1

CUT TO DR. KELSO'S OFFICE

Dr. Kelso: Turkleton, and what do I owe the pleasure?

Turk: Do you know that there is some dentist in the OR saying that he is going to remove someone's wisdom teeth and we can't do surgery for another two hours.

Dr. Kelso: Well who allowed that?

Turk: I have no idea.

Dr. Kelso: Ted!

Ted: Yes sir

Dr. Kelso: is there anything in the hospital records about dentists using the OR?

Ted: I don't think so sir…

Dr. Kelso: Well now there is! Write this down Ted. If a patient will be receiving dential work that will be resulting in the closing of the OR the patient must schizophrenic.

Turk: That is awesome!

Dr. Kelso: Now go give this to that dentist. I don't want him in here if we aren't going to get any money for it!

Turk: Right away sir!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 2

LUNCH ROOM

J.D.: Look at her. How can she be so insensitive like that?

Carla: What do you mean?

J.D.: She wouldn't eat lunch with me today.

Elliot: You were the one that told her to go make her own friends and stop hanging out with yours. Of course she isn't going to eat with you.

J.D.: Yeah well your boyfriend is over there with her.

Elliot: Yeah and so is her father and the Janitor.

J.D.: See what I mean… all the people that either hates me or I despise them at one table.

Carla: Then why are you dating her?

J.D.: Because she makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Turk: (walks up) Whats going on?

J.D.: Andrea is eating lunch with my nemeses

FANTASY SCENE

HALLWAY. JD, TURK, ELLIOT AND CARLA ARE DRESSED UP LIKE

THE JETS FROM WEST SIDE STORY. STANDING ACROSS FROM THEM ARE ANDREA, PERRY, KEITH AND THE JANITOR. THEY ARE ALL DRESSED UP LIKE THE SHARKS.

CUT BACK TO THE LUNCH ROOM

Carla: Bambi, if I am going to be in your fantasy you are going to have to put me on the Sharks, after all I'm Latino.

J.D.: But you're Dominican not Puerto Rican.

Carla: I'm still Latino!

J.D.: Fine! Traitor

BACK TO FANTASY SCENE

COOL IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AND THE JETS ARE SNAPPING THEIR FINGERS AS THEY WALK DOWN THE HALLWAY TOWARDS THE SHARKS

Elliot: Just play it cool, boy, real cool.

AMERICA PLAYS AND THE CAMERA TURNS TO FOCUS ON THE OTHERSIDE OF THE HALLWAY AS THE SHARKS COME DOWN THE HALLWAY.

Carla: I like to be in America, O.K. by me in America

Everyone: Shut up Carla!

Carla: I was just trying to bring some spice into this!

J.D.: Maria! I just met a girl named Maria!

SOUND OF A SHOT AND J.D. FALLS TO THE FLOOR DEAD

Janitor: (To Andrea) Maria isn't supposed to kill Tony, Chino is.

Andrea: I know but he was getting really annoying, sorry (hands the gun to the Janitor)

END OF FANTASY SCENE

J.D.: I can't let her end up with the Janitor!

Elliot: Why did I have to be Riff?

J.D.: Because Turk is too black for that.

Carla: That's really offensive!

Turk: I'm okay with that. I didn't have to sing.

ANDREA GETS UP FROM HER TABLE AND WALKS TOWARDS THEM. SHE PUROPOSEFULLY BUMPS INTO J.D'S CHAIR CAUSING HIM TO SPILL SOUP ON HIMSELF.

Andrea: (sarcastically) Oh sorry Tony!

J.D.: Did everyone here me think out loud?

Janitor: Yeah and boy did you get it wrong. I will kill you way before she gets to.

Jordan: (walks up) why did I get to be in it?

J.D.: You were Officer Krupke?

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 3

CUT TO THE OR

Turk: (runs in) I have a letter from the Chief of Medicine saying you can't perform this procedure!

Dr. Cunningham: Oh yeah, lets see it.

TURK HANDS IT TO HIM AND HE READS IT

Dr. Cunningham: I can still perform the procedure.

Turk: No you can't!

Dr. Cunningham: Mr. Peterson is a schizophrenic.

Turk: Damnit!

Dr. Cunningham: And because you just interrupted my procedure…. It's going to be later then eleven when you get the OR back.

Turk: It's past one; you didn't even start on this till eleven.

Dr. Cunningham: You know what they say?

Turk: No what?

Dr. Cunningham: Never trust a dentist (picks up a drill and starts to drill into the patient's mouth)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 4

PERRY AND JORDAN'S APARTMENT. THE JANITOR, ANDREA AND PERRY ARE SITTING AROUND DRINKING BEERS AND WATCHING A GAME ON TV.

J.D. WALKS IN.

Andrea: I thought I told you to go home this weekend.

J.D.: Dr. Cox, your ex-wife has been following me around all day. So I decided I would come here, where she lives.

Jordan: (walks in) don't think you can fool me by taking me to my own house.

Perry: Jordan, Jack stuck another marble up his nose.

Jordan: Crap! I let that Chinese woman down the hall baby-sit for one day and look what happens! (Exits)

J.D.: So why are you hanging out with your dad and the janitor?

Andrea: Well you told me to go make my own friends so…

J.D.: That's kind of lame you have to hang out with your dad.

Andrea: Well it's kind of lame you still sleep with a security blanket being 31 and all but I don't tell anyone. (Sarcastically) whoops!

Janitor: Hey goes away scooter, she has been telling us some funny stories about you.

Perry: Yeah Maria, so I knew you were gay but I didn't know you were pretty and witty and bright.

J.D.: I only sang that to you once.

Andrea: While you were getting ready for work.

J.D.: I was in a good mood. _You better fix this now before she really starts telling them some embarrassing stuff._

Janitor: So what are you sending yourself this year for Valentines Day? And are you going to get it delivered to the hospital again?

J.D.: _Too late! _ Andrea, can I talk to you outside.

Perry: Does it really matter where you talk? You know she is just going to tell us anyways.

J.D.: Fine! Look Andrea, I'm sorry that I told you who you could hang out with and who you couldn't. It was just a little awkward for me that you hung out with Elliot but I'll get over it. Because while I was being an ass you still respected my decision.

Elliot: (walks in) sorry it took me so long to get here. J.D. followed me around to make sure we weren't hanging out and I had to take the long way to throw him off…

J.D.: You were going to hang out with her behind my back?

Elliot: Frick!

Andrea: Why does it matter if I'm friends with your friends? I mean the only reason you started hanging out with Carla was because she was dating Turk?

Elliot: You know she is right.

J.D.: Fine… I guess we can all hang out.

Andrea: Awesome! Cause we are going on a double date with Keith and Elliot tomorrow.

J.D.: (fake and throws his arms in the air) Great!

HE SITS ON THE COUCH WITH ANDREA AND HAS HIS ARM AROUND HER. ELLIOT SITS ON THE OTHER SIDE. WHILE PERRY IS IN HIS CHAIR AND THE JANITOR IS SITTING NEXT TO ELLIOT.

J.D.: _In all relationships there has to be a give and take. Right now I was giving more then I was taking but that didn't matter because Andrea and I just had lived through our first fight. Which made us a real couple. _

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT


	6. My anniversary

A/N: I know I update this like everyday but I am really getting into this. It probably sucks but I am having fun with it so I don't care. Please R & R! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I do not own Scrubs nor any songs by Journey

**My Anniversary**

ACT 1  
SCENE1

J.D.: _Today was a big day for me and Andrea; we had been dating for a month now. We were going out tonight to celebrate. I was still deciding if I should get her something or not. _

WALKS INTO THE HOSPITAL TOGETHER HOLDING HANDS. IN THE ENTRANCE DR. KELSO, PERRY AND ELLIOT ARE WAITING FOR THEM.

Dr. Kelso: Alright everyone listen up! Today I am honored to announce that the ICU will now have two senior attending physicians.

J.D.: _Wow, today is going to be a good day. I am finally going to achieve my dream and Dr. Cox and I will now be on the same level. Take that Elliot chief resident._

Dr. Kelso: And what makes me so happy to announce this is because its going to be a headache for everyone else. Our new senior attending is Dr. Andrea Cox.

Andrea: (surprised) does this mean I get a raise?

J.D.: _What? How did she get senior attending? I have been here for five years and I was co-chief resident. She hasn't even been here a year._

EVERYONE IS STARING AT HIM.

J.D.: Oops did I say that out loud?

Andrea: (ignoring him) so where's my white coat?

Dr. Kelso: (hands it to her) Here, and remember your new interns are starting today.

Andrea: Do I seriously have to take interns? I mean come on, I'm a senior attending.

Perry: If I have to take them you have to take them there Andy.

Andrea: Perry, I know you want to give me a nickname so bad very so you can still think you have power over me. And honestly I am okay with that but come up with a better one. (Pats him on the back and walks away).

J.D.: Doesn't it bother you that there is another senior attending?

Perry: Not really, means less work for me. I think I'm really going to enjoy this and not just because it's going to be easier around here for me but because it really bothers you because your girlfriend got that raise and you didn't.

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1  
SCENE 2

NURSES STATION

J.D.: I just don't know how she got it over me.

Carla: Sorry Bambi.

Elliot: the reason she got it over you is because she has been working at hospitals longer then both of us.

J.D.: How is that possible? She is five years younger then me.

Elliot: She graduated high school when she was 12. She is like a child prodigy or something.

J.D.: Seriously?

Elliot: Yeah! You have been dating her for a month and didn't know that? She told me that like the first time we hung out.

Andrea: (walks up to them) so how do I look in my coat?

Elliot: We are like twins! (They both jump up and down and then hug)

Carla: (rolls her eyes) they both should be wearing straight jackets.

Lavern: The new interns are here.

Andrea: Fan-freakin'-tastic

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 3

CUT TO ROUNDS, ANDREA WITH HER INTERNS

J.D.: _It's always interesting to see how doctors get to know their new interns and make them comfortable around the hospital. Some like to give inspirational speeches to the newest additions to the hospital._

Andrea: Listen up! I am Dr. Cox one of the senior attendings here. Now I just wanted to let you know. I really hate interns and I mean despise, they just cause more headaches then they do help. Now while I can't fire you all, which I really want too, seeing as how I am going to be doing all your work anyway, let's get one thing straight. I am responsible for all of your mistakes. So, if you don't understand what is going on with a patient you better page me because if you don't your ass will be out of here so fast you won't even have time for your head to spin. And the number I give you to page you page that. See that man over there… (points to Perry)

Interns: (nod)

Andrea: He is also Dr. Cox, he has his own minions he has to worry about.

Intern: Is he your husband?

Andrea: How old do you think I am? He is my father. What's your name sparky?

Intern: Ronald Stevens.

Andrea: Well Ron-Ron you will now be referred to as pimple chin. So when I call that out you need to come running. See I don't have time to memorize all your names so I'll be giving you nick-names you have to learn. Got that lazy eye?

2nd intern: Yeah.

Andrea: Good, now get out of my sight.

CUT TO ELLIOT IN DOCTORS LOUNGE

J.D.: _And some like to play games with the interns to claim them down on the first day of the job._

Elliot: Simon says stand on one foot, hop up and down and bark like a doggie.

Interns: (follow her instructions)

Elliot: Simon says do the electric slide.

Interns: (follow along)

Elliot: Pat your head and rub your tummy and try to like your elbow while doing it.

Interns: (don't move)

Elliot: Don't just stand there?

3rd Intern: You didn't say Simon says.

Elliot: It doesn't matter I'm in charge of you for the next year! Do what I say!

Interns: (look at her scared)

Elliot: Do it!

Interns: (listen to her)

Elliot: (laughs) this is better then the time when Cabbage mistook that mike and ike for a suppository.

CUT TO KEITH IN A CLASSROOM WITH HIS INTERNS

J.D.: _And still others like to give Q and A sessions._

Keith: Yes, you in the green scrubs.

4th Intern: we all are in green scrubs.

Keith: Okay fine… fat guy in the back.

Fat guy: Yeah where's the cafeteria?

Keith: first floor by the flower shop.

Fat guy: I am so out of here!

Keith: Any more questions?

(Entire room has fallen asleep)

CUT TO NURSES STATION

J.D.: _While I like to give tours of the hospital._ And pay attention because on your right is your nearest exit. When there is an emergency do not walk because no one else here does and you will get killed by a giant stampede.

Andrea: (walks up to the group) Hey J.D. you want to go get lunch?

J.D.: Andrea, can't you see that I am in the middle of talking to my interns.

Andrea: Like they care and they already got a tour of the hospital yesterday at orientation. (turns to the interns) do you care?

Interns: No

Andrea: (smiles) see?

5th intern: Who is she?

J.D.: This just so happens to be my girlfriend Dr. Cox, we are celebrating our one month anniversary today.

Perry: (walks by with his interns) this is kind of a big deal for him. This is the longest relationship he has ever been in. Except for his three year relationship with Dr. Turk. So longest relationship with a woman.

Andrea: Wait we are what?

J.D.: celebrating our anniversary.

Andrea: oh wow… really? You have been keeping track?

J.D.: Uh yeah… cause this is kind of important to me.

Andrea: hmm.

5th Intern: Dr. Dorian just got burned!

J.D.: (points to that intern) go clean out Mr. Jackson's bed pan. Andrea can I see you in doctors lounge for a second? _This day was becoming a complete night mare. First she gets senior attending, then she embarrasses me in front of my new interns and then she forgets our anniversary…_

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 4

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Andrea: What's up?

J.D.: How could you embarrass me in front of those interns?

Andrea: I'm not going to fight with you today.

J.D.: That doesn't mean I can't still yell at you.

Andrea: Its our month anniversary baby, you don't want to spend it fighting do you? (kisses him)

J.D.: (softly) No…

Andrea: I don't think they think less of you, I think they are more afraid of you since they know you are dating me.

J.D.: You're right.

Andrea: And if they piss you off… I'll just scare them.

J.D: Uhh…

Andrea: (smiles) So lets go get lunch, 'k?

J.D.: Yeah I'll meet you down there, I just got to get my wallet.

Andrea: Okay (kisses him again and leaves).

J.D.: _Sometimes I get the feeling that Andrea wears the pants in this relationship. And it makes me feel uncomfortable._ (walks out into the hallway)

Perry: Man this is really bothering you isn't It Newbie?

J.D.: Well doesn't it bother you that Jordan makes more money then you do and only has to work eight days out of the year.

Perry: I have no problem riding Jordan's coat tails.

J.D.: I just feel like Andrea is the…

Perry: You were the skirt there Darla.

J.D.: That's what I mean.

Perry: Don't take it so hard, who do you think is in charge of the Espinosa's?

J.D.: Carla.

Perry: And Barbie and old Ken doll over there?

J.D.: Elliot.

Perry: And Bobbo's relationship?

J.D.: Enid

Perry: Starting to see a trend?

J.D.: So you are saying Jordan is the boss?

Perry: It's different with me and Jordan, usually she to doped up on drugs from all her plastic surgery to really boss me around.

J.D.: uh right…

Perry: I do not really like getting involved with your personal life because whenever I do you think its okay to come and ask me for advice. But Andrea really cares about you for whatever reason and with your past relationship track record I'm intervening cause this time you are just going to hurt some girl. You are hurting my little girl. Remember that Newbie.

J.D.: I do Dr. Cox everyday.

Perry: Good. (Walks off)

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2  
SCENE 1

CUT TO LUNCH ROOM. ELLIOT AND KEITH ARE SITTING BY THEMSELVES.

Elliot: so Keith what do you want to do tonight?

Keith: I don't know Elliot, why don't you ignore me some more.

Elliot: I'm so sorry; I have just been super busy. But I want to make it up to you.

Keith: Yeah, well how?

Elliot: Whatever you want me to do, just name it.

Keith: Really?

Elliot: Yeah, you think of something?

Keith: Not yet, but I will…

Elliot: you want to play apple thief again later?

Keith: I'm going to think up my own fantasy.(gets up to leave)

Elliot: Can't wait!

Andrea: (walks up) so what's going on there?

Elliot: Keith is coming up with a new sexy fantasy for us to act out.

Andrea: Ew….

Elliot: So you still need my help for J.D.'s surprise?

Andrea: not really unless you want to sleep with a tiny drummer.

Elliot: I'll pass.

Andrea: yeah I'm still trying to find a way out of that.

Elliot: I can't believe how gullible he is.

Andrea: I know!

J.D.: (walks up) who is gullible?

Andrea: No body, look a unicorn (points to the ceiling over his shoulder)

J.D.: Really… where? (looks) I don't see it.

Andrea and Elliot laugh.

3rd Intern: (Runs in) Dr. Reid!

Elliot: Yeah… what is it?

3rd Intern: Well Billy, he thought he had my patient and read the chart and gave him 100cc's of vicodan... And then I gave him a 100cc's of it because I didn't know and now Mr. Hammel is…

Elliot: (jumps up) Oh my god! I can't leave you guys alone for ten minutes! (rushes out with intern in toe)

Andrea: I really hate interns.

J.D.: But you were one once.

Andrea: Yeah I know but I also was a lot smarter then them.

J.D.: Yeah cause you graduated high school when you were twelve.

Andrea: Does that bother you?

J.D.: No, no it doesn't.

Andrea: Good! (gets up) I'm going to get lunch.

J.D.: Okay.

Andrea: Can I borrow some money?

J.D.: (takes money out of his pocket) here. _And when I watched Andrea walk off I realized I was the man because even though she did make more money the I did she still was asking me to pay for stuff. And that made me feel good._

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 2

NURSES STATION

Turk: What is it baby?

Carla: It's just ever since Andrea got here, JD lives over at her place. Elliot would rather be friends with her and I don't have anyone to talk to.

Turk: You got me baby.

Carla: Yeah but I don't have anyone to go to complain about you.

Turk: What about Dr. Cox?

Carla: Yeah I guess…

Turk: You are jealous that she is your equal.

Carla: She is not my equal.

Turk: She is just as nosey as you are, just as bossy and…

J.D.: _In relationships problems that aren't your own become your problems if it bothers your partner. And sometimes you can find ways to help them…_

Carla: Well I'm prettier then she is.

Turk: (stands silent)

Carla: Baby you better say that I am prettier then she is or no special birthday sex.

Turk: I didn't say anything baby because its obvious that you are prettier then she is. I mean I didn't think I had to say anything.

Dr. Kelso: (walks past) Nice save Turkleton.

Turk: Thank you sir. Carla, why don't you just become friends with Andrea and then hang out with her and Elliot. I mean if you can get along with Jordan and Dr. Cox I don't know why you couldn't get along with Andrea. (Walks off)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 3

ELLIOTS APARTMENT

Keith: Alright I thought of something.

Elliot: lets here it.

Keith: You work at an orange plantation guarding them and I am a loose criminal that tries to steal some oranges but you check me and..

Elliot: (shakes her head) I don't think that's going to work.

Keith: Why it's exactly like the apple orchard.

Elliot: But oranges aren't sexy.

Keith: You just want to do the apple thing.

Elliot: Yeah. But J.D. isn't here to be Paco.

Keith: We don't need JD…. But do you think we could switch roles?

Elliot: (confused) What do you mean?

Keith: Do you think you could be the criminal?

Elliot: But I could never steal from an apple orchard.

Keith: You just have to pretend you are… not actually do that.

Elliot: um… no.

Keith: Alright we will do it the same exact way minus Paco.

J.D.: _ And sometimes you give in to make the other person happy…_

Elliot: (excited) I know who can be Paco. (points to Rowdy)

Keith: Whatever makes you happy.

Elliot: Right now take your clothes off!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 4

THE ROOF OF THE HOSPITAL

J.D.: What are we doing up here?

Andrea: I have a surprise for you.

J.D.: Andrea its okay, I'm over it that you forgot.

Andrea: That's just it J.D. I didn't. (calls out) Boys!

A GROUP OF MIDGETS COME OUT FROM BEHIND THE STAIRWELL HOLDING INSTURMENTS. THEY HURRY TO SET UP

J.D.: What is this?

Andrea: Wait for it

J.D.: _And sometimes you surprise them to show them how much you care._

guy: We are Rove! (yells into the microphone)

J.D.: Is this a midget Journey cover band?

Andrea: (smiles) yup!

J.D.: This is awesome!

Andrea: I'm glad you like it.

J.D.: Can I have this dance? (holds out hand)

guy: (singing) Lying beside you, here in the dark  
Feeling your heart beat with mind  
Softly you whisper, youre so sincere

J.D. AND ANDREA DANCE TO OPEN ARMS.

J.D.: So why did you do all this?

Andrea: Because I know the beginning has been rocky for us but I really like you J.D. and I like the fact that because I like you it makes my dad mad. Killed two birds with one stone.

J.D.: (Laughs) well I'm sorry but I didn't get you anything.

Guy: (singing) How could our live be so blind  
We sailed on together  
We drifted apart  
And here you are by my side

Andrea: Does it bother you I got senior attending?

J.D.: Well it did at first but then I had a little chat with your dad.

Andrea: Really, he actually comforted you?

J.D.: well he was threatening me while he did it so…

Andrea: he likes being your mentor… he just doesn't want to admit it.

Guy: (singing) So now I come to you, with open arms  
Nothing to hide, believe what I say  
So here I am with open arms  
Hoping youll see what your love means to me  
Open arms

Drummer: Alright that's it.

ANDREA AND JD STOP DANCING.

Andrea: What?!? That wasn't even a full song!

Drummer: So you said we were going to get sex for this. And I haven't seen any boobs or anything.

Andrea: Alright the lady that works in the laundry room said that she was going to do the honors for me.

Drummer: Oh boy! Sex on a dryer! (runs off)

JD AND ANDREA LAUGH.

Keyboarder: So are we going to get paid?

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT


	7. My Minister Brother

A/N: Thanks for reading guys! I hope you are enjoying this and my story isn't a complete flop. Please R & R

Disclaimer: I do not own scrubs or respect by Aretha Franklin.

**My Minister Brother**

ACT 1  
SCENE 1

JD AND ELLIOTS APARTMENT. ANDREA IS ON THE COUCH READING A MAGAZINE AND JD IS SITTING NEXT TO HER. ELLIOT IS IN THE KICHEN.

J.D.: _Andrea and Elliot have been trying to get me to go out on a double date for the past few weeks and up till this point I had been hesitant about it cause I couldn't stand Keith. Then I started thinking about it and I realized that the reason I couldn't stand Keith was because he and Elliot were sleeping together when I wasn't sleeping with anyone. And now that I'm sleeping with Andrea maybe I won't hate him._ So when is this double date?

Andrea: Really, you'll go?

Elliot: I can get Keith over here in five minutes flat.

J.D.: _and for some reason that statement bothered me._ Elliot, I don't think that's something you want to brag about. It makes you sound like a slut.

Keith: (walks in) I just got your text message.

Andrea: Impressive. J.D. you should be more like Keith.

J.D.: _Nope still hated him._ So where we gonna go?

Andrea and Elliot: (smile)

CUT TO A KARAOKE BAR. ELLIOT AND ANDREA ARE ON STAGE SINGING RESPECT. ELLIOT IS DANCING AROUND SPASTICALLY WHILE SINGING THE SOCK IT TO ME PART.

J.D.: (to waiter) Appletini please!

Keith: Isn't that kind of a girlie drink?

J.D.: And a pina colada isn't?

Keith: Why do you hate me so much.

Elliot: (falls off the stage) Ow!

J.D.: She socked it to herself.

Andrea: (jumps off stage and looks down at Elliot) So I guess you aren't up for one more song?

Elliot: Can someone help me up? I can't feel my back.

END SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1  
SCENE 2

NURSES STATION.

Elliot: J.D. wasn't last night fun?

Carla: What did you two do?

J.D.: Well before we took Elliot back here to get her back looked at we went on a double date to a karaoke bar.

Carla: How come you never go on double dates with me and Turk?

Elliot: There's pressure there to get married.

Carla: There's no pressure!

Intern: (runs up) Dr. Dorian, theres a weird guy in my patients room!

J.D.: Is he family?

Intern: No

J.D.: did you have security look into it?

Intern: They didn't think he was a threat.

J.D.: Then why don't you go treat the patient?

Intern: because I can't when there is someone in there watching me.

J.D.: Fine! (both walk off)

Andrea: (walks up) You feeling better?

Elliot: Yeah! We should go out again tonight!

Andrea: Okay. What do you want to sing?

Elliot: Pina Colada. I made up a dance routine so I won't fall off the stage this time. I can teach you at lunch.

Carla: I want to do it!

Elliot: Carla, you're pregnant and there's some splits in it…

Carla: I can do it!

Andrea: You could hurt the baby.

Carla: We'll be fine.

Elliot: Alright meet us in the doctors lounge.

Carla: See you then! (walks off)

Andrea: So do you want to tell Turk or should I?

Elliot: Oh I'll do it… Turk and I have this little game its kind of like charades but if the person can't guess it in five minutes then they have to hug your dad.

Andrea: ahh…

Elliot: I'm going to go find him!

END SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE3

PATIENTS ROOM

J.D.: (walks) Dan?

Dan: Hey J.D.

J.D.: Why are you dressed up like a priest? Halloween was last month.

Dan: I'm not a priest, I couldn't be celibate. I'm a Minster!

J.D.: What?

Dan: That's why I am here. Mr. Mortimer here is part of the parish.

J.D.: well that's nice of you to be here to pray for him.

Dan: I'm here to give him his last rights.

J.D.: Oh

Dan: So do you think while I'm here I could stay with you?

J.D.: I don't live with Turk anymore I live with Elliot…

Dan: I'll stay on the couch.

J.D.: I don't know if that is such a good idea.

Dan: Johnny I don't have any place to go, I don't get paid much as a minister so I can't get a hotel room.

J.D.: Alright, I'll talk to her. _And as soon as I agreed I knew this was going to be a bad idea._

Dan: Okay, see you tonight roomie!

CUT TO THE HALLWAY.

Elliot: (calls and walks down the hallway) Turk!

J.D.: (jogs to catch up to her) Hey Elliot, can I talk to you for a minute.

Elliot: I'm kind of busy right now.

J.D.: My brother is in town and he is going to stay with us.

Elliot: Why can't he stay at a hotel.

J.D.: Apparently minister's don't make a lot of money.

Elliot: He is a minister?

J.D.: yeah.

Elliot: Alright but you know my rule. You only get one guest to spend the night. So don't go running off to Andrea's and leave me with him.

J.D.: _This was going to suck. _Okay.

Elliot: I got to go! Turk (runs off)

Andrea: (walks up) So I just got off the phone with my landlord. Apparently there are a lot of termites and ants in the building so they are going to be smoke bombing the place. Can I stay with you and Elliot for 4 days?

J.D.: Actually my brother is in town and Elliot has this rule that I can only have one guest spend the night.

Andrea: (surprised) you have a brother? I didn't know that?

J.D.: Yeah sometimes I pretend that I don't have one.

Dan: (walks up) I heard that!

J.D.: Dan

Dan: And who is this pretty young lady?

J.D.: this is Dr. Cox's daughter.

Dan: (to Andrea) what are you doing later?

J.D.: Dude, that's my girlfriend!

Dan: Well I didn't know, you didn't tell me.

J.D.: That's because I thought since you don't like Dr. Cox you would leave her alone.

Dan: Well you don't know me very well do you?

Andrea: Okay. Well I'm going to go find my dad and ask him if I can stay at his place. (Kisses J.D.) See you later. (To Dan) and nice meeting you… I guess.

Dan: The pleasure was all mine.

Andrea: I'm sure it was (walks off)

END SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 4

HALLWAY OUTSIDE OF THE OR.

Elliot: Turk!

Turk: Hey whats up?

Elliot: Game's on.

Turk: Okay. (looks at watch) Go

ELLIOT HOLDS UP HER POINTER FINGER.

Turk: First word.

POINTS TO HER LEFT RING FINGER

Turk: Wedding ring?

ELLIOT SHAKES HER HEAD. BRINGS HER TWO HANDS TOGETHER

Turk: The von Trapp family?

ELLIOT SHAKES HER HEAD. HOLDS UP TWO FINGERS. HOLDS HER STOMACH AND THEN EXTENDS IT TO SHOW GROWTH.

Turk: Singing? Are you sure this has nothing to do with the sound of music?

ELLIOT SHAKES HEAD. THEN TAKES HER LEFT PALM AND TOUCHES HER RIGHT POINTER AND RING FINGER TO IT LIKE IT WAS SOMEONE STANDING. THEN SPREADS THEM OUT TO INDICATE THE SPLIT.

Dr. Wen: (voice over) Dr. Turk to the OR.

Elliot: Looks like you loose!

Turk: I didn't even have the full time.

Elliot: Doesn't matter.

Turk: We are going to have to consult the rule book for this one.

Dr. Wen: (voice over) Seriously Christopher get in the OR.

Turk: Gotta go.

END SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 5

JORDAN'S OFFICE

Andrea: (knocks on the door) Oh you are at work today?

Jordan: Yeah we had a board meeting today. We got rid of that WIC program.

Andrea: Well that's good!

Jordan: So what do you want?

Andrea: Why do you think I want something? Maybe I just wanted to come down here and enjoy your sunny disposition.

Jordan: Perry only comes down here when he wants something and you haven't talked to me in a few days.

Andrea: Alright fine, my apartment is getting smoke bombed because of all the termites. And J.D.'s brother is in town so can I stay at your place?

Jordan: Of course you can!

Andrea: Really?

Jordan: Oh yeah, this will really piss your father off.

Andrea: maybe I should go talk to him about this.

Jordan: No let me tell him. I want to see his expression.

END SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2  
SCENE 1

DOCTORS LOUNGE AT LUNCH

Andrea: Hey Elliot, I can't stay for the dance. I have to move some of my stuff over to my parents place. Maybe you could show me later?

Elliot: Oh yeah sure, I still have Carla so it will be funny.

Andrea: Thanks! (starts to walk out and while she does Carla walks in)

Carla: So where is Andrea?

Elliot: She had some errands to run.

Carla: Some friend

Elliot: You ready to get started?

Carla: Yup

ELLIOT TURNS THE BOOM BOX ON AND THEY BEGIN TO SWAY TO THE MUSIC. THEN ELLIOT STARTS TO TURN AND DO SOME KICKS WHICH DOESN'T GO WITH THE MUSIC AT ALL. CARLA TRIES TO FOLLOW BUT IS OFF THE BEAT. AT THE VERY END ELLIOT DOES A SPLIT AND CARLA TRIES TO BUT IN VAIN.

Carla: Don't you dare say I told you so.

Elliot: You look like you are in pain.

Carla: (tries to get up) No I'm fine.

Elliot: Do you want to go get lunch?

Carla: No, I'm not hungry.

Elliot: Alright see you later (walks out)

Carla: somebody help!

Turk: (walks in) Baby what are you doing on the floor?

Carla: Elliot was going to teach Andrea how to do this dance for there performance at the karaoke bar tonight.

Turk: You know you can't do that baby.

Carla: Are you going to help me up or not.

J.D.: _Sometimes you make decisions that you know are wrong but your pride gets in the way._

END SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 2

NURSES STATION.

Jordan: Hey Per. I got some news for you.

Perry: Jordan, if you are having twins we are giving them up for adoption.

Jordan: This has nothing to do with the baby.

Perry: Good.

Jordan: Andrea is going to be staying with us for a few days while her apartment gets smoke bombed.

J.D.: _And sometimes you do things for your own personal entertainment_

Perry: Why can't she just stay with Newbie?

Jordan: (smiles) because his brother's in town.

Perry: (trying hard not to show his anger) well isn't that nice.

Jordan: She is moving her stuff in right now.

Perry: That's great

Jordan: Well I'll see you at home.

TURK RUNS UP TO PERRY AND THROWS HIS ARMS AROUND HIM IN A HUG. PERRY IS STRUGGLING TO GET OUT OF IT. ELLIOT RUNS UP TO THEM.

Elliot: Okay five minute hug Turk! Try to hang on. Time starts now!

J.D.: _Or you sometimes you do things because fulfill your word. _

END SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 3

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Andrea: (walks in) Elliot! I'm back do you still have time to show me the dance?

Carla: Elliot went to lunch.

Andrea: What are you still doing in here?

Carla: I think I hurt my leg trying to do the split.

Andrea: Do you want me to look at it for you?

Carla: Could you help me get down stairs to see Dr. Matthews?

Andrea: Sure.

Carla: And don't tell anyone.

Andrea: my lips are sealed.

J.D.: _And sometimes you do something nice for someone you aren't close to because you know it will mean something to some you are._

END SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 4

JD AND ELLIOTS APARTMENT. DAN IS IN THE LIVING ROOM.

J.D.: (brings out sheets) Here you go.

Dan: Thanks for letting me stay here with you.

J.D.: No problem man.

Girl: (walks out of the bathroom) Alright I'm ready for bed.

J.D.: Who's that?

Dan: My guest.

J.D.: Elliot's not going to like this. I can only have one guest spend the night.

Dan: No, the rule is only one guest per person staying here. So I'm your guest and she is mine.

J.D.: (throws his arms up defeated and walks out)_ and sometimes you do something nice for people and it just bites you in the ass._

END SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 5

JORDAN AND PERRYS APARTMENT. JACK IS SITTING ON THE GROUND CRYING IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS TOYS. ANDREA AND JORDAN ARE SCREAMING AT PERRY FOR SOME REASON. AND PERRY IS SITTING ON THE COUCH WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE.

J.D.: _Other times you do something you don't want to do and it turns out to make you happy._

JD IS IN HIS APARTMENT. THERE IS A BANGING ON THE WALL FROM ELLIOTS ROOM WHERE SHE AND KEITH WERE REINACTING ANOTHER APPLE FANTASY SHE HAD. JD GETS UP AND SHUTS HIS BEDROOM DOOR SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO WATCH HIS BROTHER AND SOME RANDOM GIRL GO AT IT.

J.D.: _I knew I wasn't going to sleep well that night. For the last month I have been sharing a bed with Andrea and I have gotten used to kicking and punching me in her sleep. And I realized there was no other place I would rather be then with her. And that I had finally made the right decision about a girl. At least I hope so. _

JD'S PHONE RANG. HE PICKS IT UP.

Andrea: I was just calling to say good night.

J.D.: (smiles) Goodnight.

Andrea: Its going to be weird not having someone steal the blankets at night.

J.D.: or getting kicked in the face.

Andrea: Okay well I guess I'll let you go.

J.D.: Andrea wait, umm.

Andrea: Yeah?

J.D.: Sleep well and I uh… love you.

Andrea: I know you do. (pauses) I love you too.

J.D.: _Yup I had made the right decision. _

END SCENE

FADE OUT


	8. My Pajamas

A/N: This chapter is kind of long and randomish but I think its funny. Please r & r.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything.

**My Pajamas**

ACT 1  
SCENE 1

JORDAN AND PERRY'S APARTMENT, GUEST BEDROOM. JD AND ANDREA ARE LYING IN BED.

J.D.: _It's pretty sad when a 31 year old has to sneak out of his apartment to see his girlfriend. Ever since Dan got here Elliot has been afraid if I left the two of them alone that he would make a move on her. But he has been bringing girls home every night. I get up around two in the morning and drive over to Dr. Cox's apartment. Then I get up at six and sneak back into my apartment. It's been great so far. We haven't gotten caught._

ALARM CLOCK GOES OFF.

J.D.: _except today…. I overslept!_

Andrea: (wakes up. groggily) J.D. what are you still doing here?

J.D.: I guess I got caught up in watching you sleep…

Andrea: (whispers) we are going to have to sneak you out!

J.D.: bet you never thought you would say that.

Andrea: I never thought I would be 25, staying at my DAD's house and sneaking out my boyfriend.

J.D.: Of course you would be 25, everyone ages.

Andrea: (elbows him) you know what I mean.

J.D.: Alright so what is the plan?

Andrea: Well Jordan goes into Jack's room around 8:10 and then Perry gets in the shower six minutes later. You can sneak out then.

J.D.: So we got about sixteen minutes… what do you want to do. (kisses her)

Andrea: well I know if we do what you want to do we will still have to wait 15 minutes and five seconds till Perry gets in the shower.

J.D.: Nah… I don't feel like having a staring contest right now.

Andrea: You're loss... haha get it, cause you always loose at the game.

KNOCK ON THE DOOR BEFORE THEY HAVE A TIME TO RESPOND JORDAN WALKS IN.

Jordan: Yes! I knew it! (Calls over her shoulder) Per you owe me twenty bucks!

J.D.: (moves around to cover himself up)

Jordan: I've seen it already DJ

Andrea: I don't think you have Jordan… he is wearing spider-man footy pajamas.

Jordan: (calls over her shoulder) never mind! We're even.

END SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1  
SCENE 2

ANDREA WALKS OUT OF THE GUEST BEDROOM AND GOES INTO THE KITCHEN. J.D. WALKS OUT SLOWLY.

Perry: You know next time you sneak into an apartment of your girlfriend's parents. Probably shouldn't park your scooter in the middle of the living room. Might make you're presence noticeable.

J.D.: Good morning to you too Dr. Cox (waves)

Andrea: J.D. do you want fruit loops or pop tarts?

J.D.: I'll take pop-tarts, they are portable.

Jordan: Andrea, I need you to watch Jack tonight. Perry and I have to go to Danni's rehearsal dinner tonight

Perry: I'll watch Jack and Andrea can go in my place.

Andrea: oh no, no, no… I will be happy to watch Jack.

J.D.: Danni's getting married?

Jordan: (to Andrea) J.D. slept with her too.

Andrea: (hits J.D. in the head) God you can't keep it in your pants can you?

Perry: Actually he usually has a hard time getting anyone to let him whip it out.

Jordan: Yeah but it's some old guy who is on his death bed. She just wants the money.

Andrea: I have to go get ready for work. (To JD) you should get going too.

J.D.: yup… I'll just got to get sasha out of here.

ANDREA OPENS THE DOOR AND JD RIDES OUT ON SASHA.

Andrea: Watch out for the stairs! (she calls to him)

J.D. Too late! Ahhh!

END SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 3

ENTRANCE OF THE HOSPITAL

Elliot: Just get away from me!

Dan: I'm sorry I walked in on you in the shower with your boyfriend.

Elliot: you didn't just walk in, you broke the door!

Dan: I really had to take a dump.

Elliot: Where was your brother? He was supposed to be watching you!

Dan: Oh he went over to Andrea's….

Elliot: Again? Can't he spend on night by himself?

Dan: give the guy a break. He gets four hours of sleep an night if that.

Elliot: The rules where you could stay at my place if he was there.

Dan: Yeah but you can't tell him he could only have one person stay there and expect him to choose between his brother and his girlfriend.

Elliot: Yes I can, I was hoping he would come to his senses and choose her over you! (Walks off)

Dan: Mole butt! (Calls after her)

J.D.: (walks up) Hey how did you know about Elliot's mole butt?

Dan: I accidentally walked in on her in the shower with Keith this morning.

J.D.: She doesn't know I snuck out right?

Dan: if by that you mean she does know, then yes.

J.D.: How could you tell her?

Dan: You wore your spider man footy pajamas to work. How was she not going to find out?

J.D.: Go …. Be a minister…

Dan: Good come back Johnny…

J.D.: (waves his hand dismissively) Just leave

Perry: (whistles) Newbie, get over ere pronto.

J.D.: Did I leave anything over at your place?

Perry: Yeah your dignity… nope you lost that along time ago. Go get into scrubs and meet me back here…

J.D.: But I'm with Andrea today.

Dr. Kelso: Not any more. You too have had the same schedule for the last three weeks. And I decided it would be fun for me if you finished the week with Perry here. Now go change out of those pj's and get to work.

J.D.: Yes sir!

END SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 4

CUT TO PATIENTS ROOM. DR. KELSO JUST TOLD ANDREA THE SAME NEWS.

Andrea: Well who am I going to work with?

Dr. Kelso: Me…

Andrea: Which means?

Dr. Kelso: Carla will be assisting you today.

Andrea: (upset) great.

Carla:(walks in) you wanted to see me sir?

Dr. Kelso: Nurse Turkleton, you will be helping Dr. Cox today.

Carla: Alright, I'll go find him.

Dr. Kelso: Not Perry, Andrea.

Carla: (upset like Andrea) Great.

Dr. Kelso: (smiles) well great, I'm glad you all like the new arrangements, maybe I'll make permanent. (Walks out)

BOTH ARE ALARMED AND BEGIN TO FOLLOW HIM OUT.

Andrea: No sir! Wait!

Carla: Dr. Kelso

Patient: Can I get some help in here?

THE TWO WOMEN TURN TOWARDS EACH OTHER.

Andrea: Well you heard the man (pushes Carla in the room) Dr. Kelso, wait up!

END SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 5

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Elliot: Keith! Why didn't you beat Dan up this morning?

Keith: I'm not going to beat up J.D.'s brother.

Elliot: Oh I get it, you are still trying to win J.D. over

Keith: No, that's not true

Elliot: Well listen, he has to be nice to you, cause I Like you. Now get over it!

Keith: So what do you want me to do?

Elliot: forget it. I'll take care of him myself.

OR TURK IS DOING SURGERY. DAN COMES UP TO GLASS AND STARTS BANGING ON IT TO GET TURCKS ATTENTION. PUT HIS MOUTH UP TO IT AND BLOWS ON IT. STARTS TO PRETEND HE IS ON A ESCLATATOR, THEN ON A BOAT, SWIMMING AND SO FORTH. TURK LOOKS EMBARRASSED.

END OF SCENE

COMMERCIAL

ACT 2  
SCENE 1

HALLWAY

Perry: What took you so long Jessica? Couldn't chose between the flower print scrubs or the pink ones?

J.D.: I had to borrow scrubs from Turk.

Perry: careful there newbie, you might get mistaken for a surgeon.

J.D.: Oooh… that might be fun. Hey Dr. Wen.

Dr. Wen: Dr. Dorian.

J.D.: so do I look like a surgeon or what?

Dr. Wen: You look like a medical doctor in green scrubs.

J.D.: phooey

Perry: This is definitely something I don't miss about working with you.

J.D.: You missed working with me?

Perry: No, I'm used to it. Just like someone with a scar gets used to having it around. Yeah you are kind of like a scar women get when they have a c-section.

J.D.: You know I think that's the nicest thing you have ever said to me.

BOTH BEEPERS GO OFF.

J.D.: crap. Mr. Peterson is coding.

THEY BOTH RUN OFF TO THE PATIENTS ROOM.

J.D.: _whenever I get a page like that everything begins to go in slow motion. I feel like I am defying gravity when I try to run or something._

Lavern: He is going into cardiac arrest.

J.D.: I need the AED's stat.

J.D. PLACED THE AED'S ON MR. PETERSONS CHEST.

J.D.: clear! _It was weird Dr. Cox stood back and let me take charge. He just stood there and watched me, he didn't even say anything. But it didn't matter because Mr. Peterson still died._

Perry: Newbie there was nothing you could do.

J.D.: yeah sure. (walks out)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 2

ANDREA'S PATIENTS ROOM

Andrea: Nurse, I need you to give this man 10 ccs of penicillin

Carla: he is allergic.

Andrea: He isn't allergic to Penicillin.

Carla: Yes he is!

Andrea: (to patient) do you have any allegories?

Patient: No.

Andrea: See!

Carla: Crap! I was reading the wrong chart.

Andrea: Maybe you should may more attention. And why do you need to read charts? I thought you said only doctors read them because they didn't spend enough time with their patients!

Carla: (sarcastic) guess you are the exception to the rule.

Andrea: Elliot told me you would be like this. She said you got this way too when she first became friends with Molly.

Carla: Like what?

Andrea: Jealous

Carla: I'm not jealous.

Andrea: Admit you are jealous or I'll tell everyone how you really hurt your let.

Carla: You wouldn't.

Andrea: You aren't the only one around here with a big mouth. (walks away)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 3

THE OR. TURK COMES OUT TO YELL AT DAN WHEN HE IS STOPPED BY THE JANITOR.

Janitor: Look what I found. (Holding up JD's footy pajamas with a stick)

Turk: Where did you get those?

Janitor: Oh I found them in the bathroom.

Turk: You broke into JD's locker didn't you?

Janitor: (lying) oh no… I would never do something like that.

Turk: Give them back.

Janitor: Only if you do something for me.

Turk: What?

Janitor; Get me a meeting with that minister over there. (points to Dan who is burping the ABC's with Todd)

Turk: Go ask him yourself. (tries to grab the pjs but fails)

Janitor: or he'll never see these again.

Turk: _Damnit! Its his favorite pair! _Why do you want to meet with a minister anyway?

Janitor: I have some sins I have to get off my chest.

Turk: Alright I'll talk to him. Now give it back!

Janitor: not until I meet with him!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 4

OUTSIDE OF THE HOSPITAL

Jordan: Why are the two of you playing one on one in the middle of the day?

Perry: Actually we are playing horse, and Margaret here shoots like a girl.

JD WHO IS IN HIS BOXERS DOES A GRANNY SHOT AND THE BALL PASSES THE HOOP ALL TOGETHER.

Perry: And I believe that is HORS…

Jordan: You are going to get all sweaty and we are going to Danni's in two hours.

Perry: Well if we are going straight there I can't change. (smiles)

Jordan: I brought your suit to work. Why is he in his boxers?

J.D.: Whever one of our patients die we play horse to get our aggression out. It is very therapeutic. And every letter you get you have to remove an article of clothing.

Jordan: Has Perry ever been down to his boxers?

J.D.: He has never had to take off more then the white coat.

PERRY SHOOTS A BASKET FROM THE DUMPSTER.

J.D.: (upset) I'll never get that in.

Jordan: Oh please that is an easy shot.

J.D.: The lets see you make it in

JORDAN WALKS OVER TO THE DUMPSTER AND TAKES THE SHOT, GETTING IT IN.

Perry: Wow newbie, you are getting beat by a girl. But I'm sure that's not the first time you heard that.

J.D.: _I'll show them!_ (takes the shot and misses) There go the boxers! (slides them down)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 5

THE HALLWAY

Keith: so your big plan is what?

Elliot: Oh you don't have to worry about it, I got someone else to take care of it for me.

Keith: Who?

Elliot: (points to the Janitor at the end of the hallway talking to Dan) Him.

OTHER END OF THE HALLWAY

Janitor: Now I need you to pretend you are scared.

Dan: Why?

Janitor: Do you want your footy pajama's back or not?

Dan: Fine!

Janitor: (waves his hands in the air) So did you get a good look?

BACK TO ELLIOT AND KEITH

Elliot: Wow he is good. I can read lips. He is totally ripping him a new one.

Keith: What is he saying?

Elliot: Do it again punk and I'll clean your clock.

Keith: I think that was too many words.

Elliot: (shrugs) he slurs them together.

BACK TO JANITOR AND DAN

Dan: I got to see her hiney.

Janitor: (pulls Dan by the collar) Yeah how was it?

ELLIOT AND KEITHS END OF THE HALLWAY

Elliot: Now he is saying don't mess with me.

THE JANITOR AND DAN'S END OF THE HALLWAY

Dan: Eh… she has a mole

Janitor: (releases him) any frontal?

Keith: Now what?

Elliot: You got lucky

Dan: Nope, her stupid boyfriend was there.

Janitor: (pulls Dan by the ear) now lets go get your footy pj's.

Dan: Why are you hurting me again?

Janitor: Blonde Doctor said she would cook me dinner if I threatened you. (turns to look down the hallway at Elliot and waves)

Elliot: (smiles and waves back) Guess Dan really pissed him off. For a minister he isn't very minister-y…

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 6

THE NURSES STATION

Carla: (walks up) Fine your right, I'm jealous.

Andrea: I don't know why you are. I'm not trying to steal Elliot away from you.

Carla: she just has been spending so much time with you lately.

Andrea: That's because we just got to know each other. I'm sure you guys were like that when you first met. And you are married and pregnant. Elliot's neither of those, she needs a friend that isn't either. No offense to you. She still cares.

Carla: You're right.

Andrea: We'll try to invite you and Turk out more.

Carla: Thanks. And I'll stop spreading rumors around about you.

Andrea: No, I actually like that. People get to know about me faster. And sometimes they confuse me and my dad and its hilarious.

Carla: friends?

Andrea: Friends.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 7

LOCKER ROOM

Turk: J.D. you got to make your brother leave. He has been following me around all day. I got threatened by the Janitor because of him.

J.D.: (opens his locker) Where's my footy pajamas?

Dan: (runs out and jumps on JD wearing them) Look! They still fit!

J.D.: Dan get out of those, they are mine!

Dan: They were mine first.

J.D.: And then you gave them to me. Now get out of them!

DAN TAKES THEM OFF TO REVEAL HE ISN'T WEARING ANYTHING UNDERNEATH.

Turk: Dude!

J.D.: Put them back on.

Dan: I thought you wanted them back?

J.D.: keep them.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 8

JORDAN'S OFFICE. JORDAN IS OUTSIDE OF IT BANGING ON THE DOOR WITH ONE HAND AND IS HOLDING JACKS IN THE OTHER.

Jordan: Come on Perry! We are going to be late!

Perry: (walks out wearing the suit) You don't want to go and I don't want to go. Why don't we just pawn him off on Andrea and then stay in your office?

Jordan: Because Danni is paying me to be the matron of honor.

Perry: How much?

Jordan: that's none of your business. I'm not giving you any.

Perry: Come on, I smell like sweat and the hospital. I haven't gotten to shower.

Jordan: Should have taken the day off like I asked you to.

Perry: You should know by now when you ask me to do something I do the exact opposite.

Jordan: And you usually end up paying dearly for it.

Andrea: (walks up) Hey little Jacky! Ready to come play over at JD's place?

Jordan: You aren't going to watch him at our place?

Andrea: Can't we have to baby sit Dan tonight too.

Perry: Just keep the taxidermy dog away from Jack.

Andrea: (picks up Jack) Alright, I'll drop him off around eleven?

Jordan: sounds good.

Andrea: say goodbye to mommy and daddy!

Jack: (waves)

ANDREA AND JACK LEAVE.

Jordan: Okay screw the dinner; I'll get her a prostitute for the bachlorette party.

Perry: wow your sister is classy.

J.D.: _Family is important. Sometimes getting alone time with your ex spouse puts things in perspective._

TURK AND KEITH ARE IN THE PARKING LOT.

Keith: I have got to get him back for standing up for Elliot.

Turk: He gave the footy pj's to Dan! I'm gonna get him.

Keith: Are you sure he is gonna be upset?

Turk: Oh yeah, and he'll probably not think it was us either.

THE TWO OF THEM HAD POURED MUDD ALL OVER THE VAN AND A BIG SCOOTER PIE WAS SMASHED TO THE FRONT WINDSHEILD.

Turk: He's coming! Lets get out of here.

Janitor: (walks up) Ah… I'm so gonna get scooter for this. Now that I know the combination to his locker he is so screwed!

J.D.: _sometimes you bond with someone which is like having a family away from your own._

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 9

ELLIOT AND CARLA ARE IN CARLA AND TURKS APARTMENT.

Carla: I wonder how long it takes for the guys to get beer

Elliot: Oh they are probably checking out porn magazines.

Carla: And you are okay with that?

Elliot: Oh yeah, after what Keith didn't do today he isn't going to get any.

Carla: (laughs)

Elliot: Thanks for letting us come over, JD and Andrea are babysitting Jack and Dan tonight.

Carla: isn't Dan older then JD?

Elliot: Yeah but he acts younger then Jack.

J.D.: _Sometimes your family interferes with your friendships but you realize your friends will always be there to support you through tough times._

ELLIOT AND JD'S APARTMENT. THEY ARE SITTING AT THE TABLE EATING DINNER. DAN IS STILL IN THE FOOTY PAJAMAS.

JD: Dan eat your dinner.

Dan: But I don't want to! I hate green beans (pushes the plate away)

JD: Andrea slaved over that food for you, and you are going to eat it!

Andrea: Dan! Stop throwing the mashed potatoes at Jack! You are older you should no better.

Dan: But he kept playing with my legos.

Andrea: When are you going to learn how to share?

Dan: I don't want this.

JD: Fine you are going to bed with no dinner.

Andrea: I'm going to go give Jack a bath. Can you clean up Dan?

J.D.: Yeah sure.

Dan: I want dessert.

J.D.: Well dessert is for good boys who eat their dinner.

Dan: I don't want to go to bed!

J.D.: ( grabs Dan's arms and lead him to the couch and tucks him in) Now go to sleep!

Dan: You are mean Johnny!

J.D.: Goodnight, and no watching tv.

JD'S BEDROOM

J.D.: So Dan's in bed.

Andrea: What no guests tonight?

J.D.: Nope he is just going to sleep with his blanket.

Andrea: I thought you were the one that had one.

J.D.: I might…

Andrea: Yeah I just layed Jack down.

J.D.: We are going to be awesome parents.

Andrea: (laughs) yeah getting a 35 year old to bed is exactly like watching a one year old.

J.D.: Well with Jack… I mean you are great with him.

Andrea: Yeah well it's those maternal instincts kicking in.

J.D.: We should probably go check on Dan he is probably sneaking a cookie. _But when you finally meet the person you want to create your own family that is the best feeling in the world. _

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT


	9. My Happy Thanksgiving

A/N: This chapter was a little hard for me to write. But I hope you enjoy it!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

**My Happy Thanksgiving**

ACT 1  
SCENE 1

J.D.: So Turk what are you doing tomorrow on your day off?

Turk: Covering for you remember

J.D.: Oh yeah I forgot.

Turk: Yeah well Carla had to work anyway and she was going to kill me in my sleep if I didn't switch my schedule with someone.

J.D.: Well I'm glad that I could help.

Andrea: (walks up) Great news! I got Elliot to cover for me tomorrow.

J.D.: How did you do that?

Andrea: Well she made a comment about how she would rather work tomorrow then have to go have thanksgiving with her mother. So I offered to switch shifts with her.

J.D.: That's pretty sad.

Andrea: And when she gets off she said she planned on making a small turkey for her and rowdy.

Turk: What about Keith?

J.D.: (smiles) He is working a double shift.

Andrea: Yeah covering for my dad so we can go over to his place for Thanksgiving.

J.D.: What I thought we were going to have our first thanksgiving by ourselves.

Andrea: well I don't know how to cook so Jordan's cooking for us and I'm going over to bitch with her in the kitchen while you watch the parade with Jack.

J.D.: And where is your dad going to be?

Perry: Locked in my bedroom with a bottle of whiskey watching the football game. Away from this dysfunctional family.

J.D.: What if I wanted to watch the game to? _Shut up this might get you in trouble and you could miss the parade._

Jordan: (walks up) Oh Perry guess what? Danni and her fiancé are going to be joining ups for dinner.

Perry: I may just have to commit suicide.

J.D.: The holidays are always hard on everyone.

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1  
SCENE 2

JORDAN AND PERRYS APARTMENT.

Andrea: (sticks her finger in the cake batter and likes it) Oh there is not enough rum in this! (starts to pour the bottle into it)

THERES A KNOCK ON THE DOOR.

Jordan: Per' will you be a dear and get off your lazy ass and get the door?

PERRY ANSWERES THE DOOR HOLDING JACK.

Perry: Look who it is Jack, your Uncle Danni.

Danni: haha… I forgot how funny you are. My date's just parking the car.

Perry: And soon Jack you are going to meet your great great uncle.

J.D.: How can he park the car if he lost his licenses?

Danni: How would you know if he lost his licenses?

J.D.: Cause he was old! Yeah that was funny (laughs but no one else does)

Danni: My date isn't my fiancé.

J.D.: And you said I only want what I can't have.

Andrea: (walks out of the kitchen) And she is right.

J.D.: But I want you and I'm with you.

Andrea: Only because I play mind games with you.

Perry: Wow congrats newbie, I forgot you slept with every girl here.

Sean: (walks in) Hi everyone.

Danni: This is my date!

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 3

THE HOSPITAL

Elliot: (walks up to Keith) When's your lunch break?

Keith: around two why?

Elliot: (tries to be seductive) Come find me in the supply closet (begins to walk away and trips over her own feet) Frick! (stands up) You didn't see that!

Keith: Okay see you later.

NURSES STATION

Carla: Dr. Kelso, what are you doing here today? I thought it was your day off.

Dr. Kelso: I am off, I'm just here and not at home so I don't have to spend the holidays with Enid, my son and his boyfriend. The one that played me in the play he wrote about me.

Carla: you seem a little sad sir.

Dr. Kelso: yeah Harrison just asked me to give him away when he and his boyfriend get married in Vermont this summer.

Carla: You don't want to do it?

Dr. Kelso: No Enid is coming with so I can't bring my mistress.

Carla: Ted what are you doing here?

Ted: Well apparently I was on call in case of an emergency, and Dr. Kelso called me in…

Dr. Kelso: This is an emergency; my cable in my office went out!

Carla: You know while you are here you could look at the patient in 312.

Dr. Kelso: You're on the clock nurse Turkleton, you do it. Come on Ted (walks off)

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 4

JORDAN AND PERRY'S APARTMENT EVERYONE IS SITTING AROUND THE TABLE

Perry: So Jordan, you invite anyone else? Like maybe my sister, or your mom or my mom.

Jordan: excuse me for actually wanting to have a real family dinner.

Perry: She didn't even bring her real husband (points to Danni)

Jack: Pa-wey

Danni: Your son doesn't even call you dad (laughs)

Perry: Yeah and when you call your dad sometimes he thinks its Ben from beyond the grave.

Danni: (to JD) what is that supposed to mean.

J.D.: You kind of have manly voice.

Danni: Hey Sean, I should give you a tour of the apartment!

Sean: Okay…

Andrea: don't show him my room! (calls after him)

J.D.: Wow this is super weird.

Andrea: Why cause you slept with a guy?

J.D.: No because Elliot used to date Sean, and I didn't think he was the type of guy to let his girlfriend date another dude.

Jordan: He is on the plan too. (Tries to pick up a glass of wine)

Andrea: (takes it from her) Thanks!

Perry: Jordan, you do realize you're pregnant right?

PHONE RINGS

Jordan: (jumps up) I'll get it. (Runs out of the room)

ANDREA'S BEEPER GOES OFF.

Andrea: Shit! I have to go.

J.D.: What are you talking about.

Andrea: One of my patients vitals dropped and…

J.D.: Elliots covering you.

Andrea: Yeah but his family is already sueing the hospital for malpractice with is wife.

Jordan: That was the hospital I have to go in.

Perry: You have to go in? It must be some big emergency.

Jordan: Yeah Ted said that family sueing the hospital is going ape shit because of Andrea's patient.

Perry: Maybe I should go in.

Andrea: No, they paged me because I'm the newest senior attending. I have to go in.

Perry: Well if you have to…. Guess Thanksgiving is over Jack.

Jordan: Oh no, this shouldn't take more then an hour.

Andrea: Yeah you guys stay here. We'll be right back.

J.D.: But.

Andrea: (kisses him on the cheek) enjoy the rest of your dinner.

BOTH WOMEN LEAVE.

Perry: They are up to something.

J.D.: Oh yeah.

Perry: Well as long as Jack doesn't get into the rum cake this thanksgiving will be better then last year.

J.D.: Too late.

JACK IS FALLING ON THE FLOOR WITH CAKE ALL OVER HIS FACE.

Perry: You really don't look out equally for all of us do you big guy (says to the ceiling)

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2  
SCENE 1

JORDAN'S CAR

Andrea: So what are we going to do instead?

Jordan: I'm going to my office and having a drink

Andrea: You can't drink!

Jordan: Just one itty bitty drink?

Andrea: No!

Jordan: But I had one when I was pregnant with Jack

Andrea: Right and he still is an alcoholic, did you see how he attacked that rum cake? How did you get the phone to ring?

Jordan: I called it with my cell.

Andrea: Thanks for paging me.

Jordan: So you want to go visit your mom's grave?

Andrea: Yeah thanks, I can't believe that Perry didn't even remember.

Jordan: Well now he is going to have to spend the day with DJ and Danni so he will get his.

Andrea: You are pure evil.

Jordan: Thanks

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 2

THE HOSPITAL

Turk: Man this sucks… its so slow here today.

Elliot: It'll pick up after people start eating.

Turk: True, last year I had to do surgery on a guy who got into a fight with his brother. He had the wishbone sticking out of his forehead.

Janitor: I iced down the hospital parking lot. Maybe now we'll get something do around here.

Turk: Yeah and who is going to have to deal with the people that get hurt? That would be me. And what are you going to have to do?

Janitor: clean up the blood.

Turk: Fair enough.

Elliot: Oh its two! Gotta go!

Janitor: don't make a mess in there, that's one thing I won't clean up

SUPPLY CLOSET

Elliot: So you want some Thanksgiving sex?

Keith: How is this different from the sex we have everyday.

Elliot: You get to be on top.

Keith: Oh okay.

Dr. Kelso: There you are Dr. Dudemiester. I need you to come hold the antenna for my TV. The cable isn't working.

Elliot: Why don't you just get Ted to do it?

Dr. Kelso: He is the remote control. And plus Keith is much taller then he is. (Walks off)

Keith: (to Elliot) I got to go.

Elliot: Fine, but this isn't over. We will meet in 402 before I get off work. (Calls after him)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 3

JORDAN AND PERRYS APARTMENT

J.D.: So what do you think they are doing?

Perry: I really don't care right now… I got to take care of this drunken baby and I don't mean you. I can't go into my room because my ex sister in law is bumping naughtiest with her boyfriend that isn't her fiancé.

J.D.: Come on, it can't be so bad.

Perry: I'm stuck here with you; I would rather be in the hospital having Bobbo sticking forks into my eye balls.

J.D.: _I wonder what could be so important that Andrea had to resort to lying and teaming up with Jordan. I hope I didn't piss her off. I don't want another bruised rib._ (rubs his side) I don't think Andrea told me what to day was.

Perry: Besides Thanksgiving?

J.D.: Yeah… what else could it be.

CUT TO GRAVE YARD

Jordan: You know it wasn't until two months ago that Perry told me why he blew off our first Thanksgiving together.

Andrea: Yeah he came here in a Detroit red wings jersey and was drinking a beer.

Jordan: Yeah he showed up like that for Jack's baptism.

Andrea: Do you think he even remembers?

Jordan: Yeah definitely, that's why he is being more of a cranky ass then normal.

Andrea: Oh I just thought it was because Danni and Sean are having sex on your bed.

Jordan: He'll forget about that once he has a drink.

Andrea: Are you sure it was a good idea to leave your drunk son with your drunk ex-husband.

Jordan: Well as long as DJ stays away from the appletinis we will be okay.

Andrea: So mom, this is Jordan. She is Perry's ex wife. You would love her.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 4

HOSPITAL

Carla: So the wishbone is shoved up where?

Patient: (blushes) my bottom.

Carla: Alright well why don't you change into that gown there and I will go find a doctor to treat you. (walks into the hallway)

Turk: So whats wrong with him?

Carla: You wouldn't believe where his wife shoved the wishbone.

Turk: Up his pooper?

Carla: uh huh

Turk: I can't believe JD is missing this.

Carla: You both are gross.

Turk: Can I please treat him?

Carla: Knock yourself out.

Turk: Where's Elliot?

Carla: Trying to break into Jordan's office so she and Keith can have special Thanksgiving sex.

Turk: Baby how come we don't have special Thanksgiving sex.

Carla: It's the opposite of what we do for your special birthday sex.

Turk: Its not special if the man has to do all the work.

Carla: and that's why it's not special.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 5

ELLIOT IS SLAMMING HERSELF AGAINST THE DOOR

Elliot: Why won't you stupid door open?

Janitor: What seems to be the problem?

Elliot: Jordan, paged me because she needs to get something out of her office?

Janitor: Trying to have sex in there?

Elliot: Yeah… how did you know?

Janitor: Because everyone uses that office to have sex.

Elliot: Well if she didn't have a fold out bed in there…

Janitor: (gets a key out and opens the door) There you go!

Elliot: Thanks Janitor! You are so nice.

Janitor: 'Tis the season

Elliot: Uh… yeah (walks into the room and opens the window) Keith! I

got the office open, now come on!

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 6

JORDAN AND PERRYS APARTMENT

J.D.: Okay I'm going to start playing twenty questions if you don't tell me what's going on. And where is Danni and Sean?

Perry: They are still going at it. I don't know how he has the stamina for that. Jordan doesn't usually get to finish.

J.D.: Seriously, whats going on?

Perry: Well Loretta, Today is the ten year anniversary of Andrea's moms death.

J.D.: And you aren't there to pay respects with her?

Perry: I went this morning after Jordan asked me to have sex with her.

J.D.: Does Andrea know?

Perry: I doubt it

J.D.: I wonder why she hasn't told me.

Perry: because she probably wanted to deal with this herself.

J.D.: So you think that's where she and Jordan are?

Perry: I'm going to say yes, even though I don't know why Jordan is acting like a human…

J.D.: Probably because that baby's about to pop out of her at any minute.

Perry: Its not due for another three weeks and we have a deal. I get to enjoy these next three weeks before I have to start being a father.

JACK TRIES TO WALK BUT ENDS UP STUMBLING ON THE GROUND AND FALLS.

J.D.: Doesn't he know how to walk?

Perry: Oh yeah, Jordan taught him that awhile ago.

J.D.: So after two kids you think you are ready to be a dad.

Perry: I was ready to be a dad when Lauren died, but Andrea didn't want to be anywhere near me.

J.D.: Then maybe you can make it up to her now. _Sometimes you surprise yourself with amount of knowledge you accumulate over the years._

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 3  
SCENE 1

THE HOSPTIAL

Turk: You know what I'm thankful baby?

Carla: What's that?

Turk: That I get to spend the day working with you.

Carla: Aww… honey that's the cheesest thing I ever heard you say.

Turk: Well what are you thankful for?

Carla: That you were willing to fish that wishbone out of that guys ass so I didn't have to.

J.D.: _Sometimes you surprise yourself cause even though your whole life is going to change you are still are still as happy as you are with your partner as you were when you first met them._

ACT 3  
SCENE 2

INT. PERRYS BEDROOM. PERRY WALKS INTO HIS BEDROOM AND SEES SEAN AND DANNI GOING AT IT. COVERS HIS EYES.

Perry: excuse me for barging into my room to get a coat.

SEAN FALLS OFF THE BED.

Sean: Ow!!!

Danni: are you okay.

Sean: I think I just got impaled by Jordan's giant high heel

Danni: Oh my god you need to go to the hospital!

Perry: (turns to look at JD) Now what Newbie?

J.D.: I'll take him to the hospital, you go.

Perry: What about Jack.

J.D.: The little alcoholic will stay here with his uncle.

Perry: Thanks Newbie,

J.D.: _and sometimes you surprise yourself by stepping aside and letting someone else take charge._

END OF SCENE

ACT 3  
SCENE 3

THE HOSPITAL

J.D.: Thanks for meeting me here Elliot

Elliot: (scrubs are on inside out and her hair is all messed up. Shakes her head) sure no problem. So what's wrong.

J.D.: (pushes a gurney out to reveal Sean laying on it with a high heal sticking out of his butt) He was having wild animal sex with Danni and got hurt.

Elliot: Oh my god Sean!

Sean: Elliot?

Keith: (walks up) Elliot aren't you supposed to be off now?

Elliot: Um… yeah…

Keith: I can take him for you JD

Elliot: You don't have to do that.

Keith: After what you just did to me I think I should.

Elliot: He's my ex boyfriend.

J.D.: _and sometimes you surprise yourself by realizing you have been keeping an important secret from someone you care about the most._

END OF SCENE

ACT 3  
SCENE 4

GRAVE YARD

Andrea: Well… I guess that's it…

Perry: No, no I think we should say something to her together.

Andrea: Dad?

Jordan: How did you know we were here?

Perry: because I know it takes more then someone suing the hospital to get you to go into work on a holiday.

Jordan: (frowns) you know me too well…. I'm going to leave you two alone.

Andrea: So what made you decide to come?

Perry: Remembering the day you decided not to come live with me.

Andrea: (nods) You told J.D. didn't you.

Perry: Yeah… why didn't you tell him?

Andrea: because this is still all too new to me and I didn't want to scare him off. You didn't bring him here did you?

Perry: No he had to take Sean to the hospital.

Andrea: What happened?

Perry: I went into the room to get a coat and he and Danni were having sex and he freaked out and fell.

Andrea: They were still going at it?

Perry: for three hours.

Andrea: oh that's weird…

Perry: So what did you talk to your mother about?

Andrea: Running into you again.

Perry: Oh yeah? So you want to come home with me?

Andrea: Yes, thank you.

J.D.: _and sometimes you can surprise yourself by fixing relationship and rewriting the past._

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT


	10. My new roommate

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I hope you like the new chapter. Please R & R.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

**My New Roommate**

ACT 1  
SCENE 1

JD AND ELLIOTS APARTMENT. JD IS LAYING IN HIS BED

J.D.: _It was probably not the best idea to have Elliot treat Swan but I thought it was even worse to have Keith treat him. The last few weeks have been tough on Elliot, Keith has been pretty mad at her. But it has been harder for Andrea and I. She had been a third wheel on most of our dates._

FLASHBACK

ANDREA AND JD ARE AT A BAR ORDERIG DRINKS. ELLIOT WALKS

UP TO THEM

Elliot: Hey J.D. can you get me one? I'll pay you back later.

JD: (uneasy) okay

Elliot: Oh I love this song! Andrea dance with me! (pulls her away)

CUT TO ANOTHER DAY, ANDREA'S CAR AT NIGHT

Andrea: There you go Elliot.

Elliot: wasn't that movie great guys?

J.D.: Yup… And the best part…

Elliot: Yeah?

J.D.: Is when we left, now get out! (Opens her door)

Elliot: Wait, aren't you guys spending the night?

J.D.: Uh…

Andrea: Yeah sure….

END OF FLASHBACK

J.D.'S ROOM PRESENT DAY

Andrea: (walks in) I love Elliot…. But I can't take it anymore!

J.D.: What happened now?

Andrea: She just gave me sex pointers because she listened to us last night.

J.D.: But you were fine…

Andrea: They were for you.

J.D.: Oh. Well what are we going to do?

Andrea: We should move in together.

Elliot: (walks in) Yeah! You should move in here!

Andrea: What?

Elliot: You're one of my best friends and it'll always be like the 3 musketeers.

J.D.: Elliot, living with a couple is not as fun as it may sound. Carla and Turk used to drag me into their fights.

FLASHBACK

TURK AND CARLA ARE SITTING ON THE COUCH WITH J.D. IN THE

MIDDLE HOLDING A BOWL OF POP CORN. TURK AND CARLA ARE

GIVING EACH OTHER DIRTY LOOKS.

Turk: So what it going to be J.D.?

Carla: Yeah is it going to be smurffs or Gilmore girls?

J.D.: Uh… _to much pressure _(throws popcorn in the air and runs away)

END OF FLASHBACK

J.D.: (shakes head)

Elliot: It wouldn't be like that.

J.D.: If would been worse, to live with my girlfriend and ex girlfriend

Andrea: I couldn't go from living on my own to having two roommates. So what do you say J.D.?

Elliot: Yeah are you going to leave me?

J.D.: _Normally I would be thrilled with the idea of living with my girlfriend but I had a feeling that it would hurt Elliot and screw me over in the end. But something how I didn't care._ Yeah Andrea, sounds good.

Andrea: awesome!

Elliot: (turns around leaves without saying a word)

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1  
SCENE 2

NURSES STATION

J.D: Hey Turk, what are you doing tonight?

Turk: Same ol' same ol', play poker with the guys.

J.D.: so you are going to watch ER and make fun of the bad acting and go to bed.

Carla: Pretty much.

Turk: Hey! How do you know, I might have guys over.

J.D.: I'm moving into Andrea's tonight and I need some help.

Carla: He'll be there.

J.D.: Thanks!

Turk: No problem. Hey! Wait! Fine you're right. I had no plans.

Carla: You never do.

J.D.: And Carla can you take Elliot out tonight?

Carla: Why?

J.D.: she isn't too happy about me moving out.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 3

ENTRANCE

Andrea: Elliot don't take it so hard!

Elliot: You are a friend stealer! You….. friend stealer…

Andrea: (sarcastically) ouch that really hurt

Elliot: (turns around and faces her) Really?

Andrea: um.. ooh yeah.. still trying to get over that one.

Elliot: Good!

Andrea: Look I have away that you can have a roommate and fix things with you and Keith.

Elliot: How?

Andrea: Ask him to move in with you. That way you have someone to still pay half the rent and you can show him that you are serious about the relationship.

Elliot: I don't know if I can do that

Andrea: Why?

Elliot: Cause last time I asked someone to move in with me I broke up with them before they even brought anything in the apartment.

Andrea: Was it Sean?

Elliot: (nods) that's when… J.D. and I got back together.

Andrea: See this is kind of why I can't move in with you.

Elliot: Yeah.

Andrea: But Keith doesn't know about the whole Sean thing does he?

Elliot: Sean kind of told Keith everything when he was hopped up on drugs.

Andrea: Oh…

Elliot: So that's probably not going to work (walks off)

Andrea: crap.

Perry: So why is newbie, extra annoying today?

Andrea: What do you mean.

Perry: He is more wound up and his voice is higher

Andrea: He's moving in with me today.

Perry: So you're really serious about him huh?

Andrea: Yeah I guess so…

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 4

CUT TO PATIENTS ROOM

Carla: So Keith, you think you'll ever talk to Elliot again?

Keith: Carla, I'm a little busy right. And its pretty unprofessional to be talking about my personal life in front of a patient.

Patient: Who's Elliot?

Carla: His girlfriend, but they aren't talking right now.

Patient: Who names a girl Elliot? Are you sure she is not a he?

Keith: Alright I'm out of here. (starts to walk out)

Janitor: (blocks the entrance) Hey, you. Why are did you upset blonde doctor?

Keith: I didn't do anything… (brushes past him)

Janitor: Maybe that's the problem (to Carla) Now I have a chance! (smiles)

Elliot: (walks past)

Janitor: Hey Elliot wait up!

Elliot: Oh hi Janitor.

Janitor: You want me to beat up Ken doll?

Elliot: (looks over at Keith at the nurses station) Nah… its okay.

Janitor: Aren't you mad at him?

Elliot: No, I'm mad at myself.

Sean: (walks up) Hey Elliot.

Elliot: (surprised) Sean! What are you doing here?

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 5

NURSES STATION

J.D.: Keith, Elliot feels really bad about what happened with Sean.

Keith: Why can't any of you just stay out of my business?

J.D.: She shouldn't have not told you she had planned on moving in with him. But nothings going on. You are being really irrational.

KEITH AND JD TURN TO SEE ELLIOT AND SEAN HUG.

Keith: really?

J.D.: Elliot… You have something on your arm.

Elliot: (turns around) what?

J.D.: _the end of your relationship._ Nothing, you got it off.

Elliot: Okay.

J.D.: (turns to Keith) gotta go! (gets on the elevator)

ELEVATOR

Jordan: Hey DJ

J.D.: What are you doing here today?

Jordan: Danni took Jack and I'm bored at home.

J.D.: You trust Danni with Jack?

Jordan: No, but you left him with her for Thanksgiving and he didn't die, or get hurt, or destroy anything so I decided to take my chances.

J.D.: Oh… _how long does it take for this elevator to go up to the next floor. _

THE ELEVATOR JERKS AND STOPS IN PLACE

J.D.: What are we stuck in here?

DOWN STAIRS JANITOR IS STANDING BY THE ELEVATOR

Janitor: And that Scooter is what you get for messing for my van.

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2  
SCENE 1

LUNCH ROOM

Andrea: you are actually happy about this?

Perry: Yeah but don't tell J.D., I don't want him to think I got soft.

Andrea: What is it about you men and not showing your emotions to each other.

ELLIOT WALKS IN.

Andrea: Oh god hide me! (jumps under the table)

Perry: Yeah and I'm the one with the problems.

Andrea: is she gone yet?

Perry: No, but to make things more interesting, Sean just walked in.

Andrea: what? (slams her head under the table) Oh ow!

Perry: Andrea?

THERE IS NO RESPONSE. PERRY LOOKS UNDER THE TABLE AND SEE SHE IS KNOCKED OUT.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 2

ENTRANCE

Turk: Hey Janitor, have you seen J.D.

Janitor: Who?

Turk: the guy you call scooter?

Janitor: uh… nope… haven't seen him all day.

Turk: Well that's weird, do you think you can help me find him?

Janitor: uh yeah sure… maybe he is in the supply closet.

Turk: No, that's where Elliot hides.

Janitor: Alright I'll go look in the dumpster.

Turk: Why would he be there?

Janitor: Why wouldn't he be there?

HALLWAY

Carla: Keith, I'm begging you. You don't know how crazy Elliot is about you.

Keith: Then why is she eating lunch with Sean?

Carla: She is what?

Keith: Yeah I saw them together down there when I was having lunch with Dr. Kelso.

Carla: Since when does Dr. Kelso eat lunch with anyone besides Ted?

Keith: He wants to make me co-chief resident.

Carla: Oh and are you going to take it?

Keith: Not if it means working more with Elliot.

Carla: You just need to go talk to her. I'm sure this is a huge misunderstanding.

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 3

ELEVATOR

J.D.: (banging on the door) LET ME OUT!!! HELP ME. (makes a face) Ew whats leaking?

Jordan: My water just broke.

J.D.: HELP!!!! (bangs on the door some more)

OUTSIDE OF THE HOSPITAL

Elliot: Sean, it was really nice of you to come down here and try to talk to Keith, but he isn't even talking to me. It doesn't matter.

Sean: Elliot, you have never been one to throw in the towel of a relationship if it wasn't working. You always try your hardest. Remember when I wasn't going to take you back because you were making the hospital come first?

Elliot: Yeah

Sean: Well, you just have to think of something really great to say.

Elliot: Yeah like that's going to happen. Everytime I open my mouth to try to fix things I just dig myself a bigger hole. Like I forgot to tell him we thought about moving in together.

Sean: Yeah well that was all in the past, he can't hold a grudge against you if he wasn't even with you then. But I got to go. I'm supposed to go pick up Jack. Danni dropped him off at the ymca day care center so she could get her lip waxed.

Elliot: Right.

Sean: Well good luck and hopefully I see you later.

Elliot: Thanks for all your help. (waves)

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 4

DOCTORS LOUNGE. ANDREA IS LAYING ON THE COUCH STILL OUT

Dr. Kelso: So how did this happen?

Perry: She was hiding under the table and slammed her head against the bottom of it.

Dr. Kelso: what was she doing on the floor.

Perry: Trying to dig a hole to china. How the hell am I supposed to know.

Dr. Kelso: Is she going to sue the hospital?

Perry: She works here.

Dr. Kelso: Then I don't care! (walks out)

ELEVATOR

J.D.: Uh… you want me to do what?

Jordan: You are going to have to deliver the baby.

J.D.: But you aren't even having contractions.

Jordan: After having sex with Perry contractions don't hurt.

J.D.: Wait what does that mean?

Jordan: I have been having them for a while now.

J.D.: But how can you know you are already going into labor?

Jordan: I already had one!

J.D.: It usually takes a couple of hours doesn't it?

Jordan: You are a doctor and I'm answering these questions?

J.D.: I'm just nervous.

Jordan: really cause you hide it so well.

J.D.: Uh.. alright I can do this.

Jordan: You don't really have to do much. You aren't pushing a watermelon out of a key hole.

J.D.: (hits the emergency button on the elevator)

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 3  
SCENE 1

MATIENCE ROOM. AN ALARM GOES OFF

Turk: What was that?

Janitor: (lies) um… helicopter landing on the roof?

Turk: We don't have a landing pad… no… that's the elevator alarm.

Janitor: Yeah so?

Turk: Someone's stuck on the elevator and you have to go… wait is JD on that elevator.

Janitor: Good deduction Columbo.

CUT TO OUTSIDE OF THE ELEVATOR

Turk: J.D.

J.D. (voice over) Turk!

Turk: Hang on buddy we will get you out of there as fast as we can.

J.D. (voice over) Hurry Jordan's in labor.

Turk: (to the janitor) hurry up and get him out of here. I got to find Perry.

END OF SCENE

ACT 3  
SCENE 2

NURSES STATION

Carla: so Keith, what are you thinking about?

Keith: You are just going to nag me until I talk to her aren't you?

Carla: Yup!

Keith: Well. I dunno…

Carla: and you have the perfect time to make up your mind (walks away as Elliot walks up)

Elliot: Hey Keith

Keith: Hey

Elliot: I know you are mad at me but I really don't have a reason to be sorry. I mean sure I didn't tell you everything about Sean and my relationship but I'm sure you haven't told me about all your past relationships in detail. And that's what it is. Its all in the past.

Keith: I uh…

Elliot: And I know you have doubted me sometimes in this relationship but I want to prove to you that I am ready. So will you move in with me?

Keith: What about J.D.?

Elliot: Oh he is moving out.

Keith: So that's the reason you want me to move in cause he is moving out and you need a roommate?

Elliot: _frick on a stick with a brick!_ No. I asked him to move out. So that I could ask you to move in.

Keith: You're lying.

Elliot: Well I would have but you weren't talking to me and I didn't want to be lonely. But I do want you to move in with me. And that's why Sean and I didn't work. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to live with me but I am sure I want you to.

J.D.: _sometimes you just realize something that you have known but it hasn't hit you yet. And when it does it hits you like a ton of bricks._

END OF SCENE

ACT 3  
SCENE 3

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Turk: Dr. Cox, you have got to come right now. Jordan is in the elevator giving birth!

Perry: Stay here with Andrea. (runs out to elevator)

ELEVATOR

J.D.: Alright Jordan, the baby is almost here. Just one more push.

Jordan: I can't believe I did this with out pain killers!

J.D.: (rubs his forehead where there is a mark) Well you did.

JORDAN PUSHES AND THE BABY COMES OUT.

J.D.: It's a girl!

THE ELEVATOR DOORS OPEN

Perry: You delivered the baby?

Janitor: You have something on your forehead.

J.D.: What?

Janitor: (hits him where the mark is)

J.D.: Ow! (falls back)

Jordan: (smiles) Per' looks like you got another girl to drive you crazy.

Perry: (smiles) I'm going to be bald before she is three.

END OF SCENE

ACT 3  
SCENE 4

NURSES STATION

Andrea: So how long was I out?

Turk: for about an hour. What happened?

Andrea: Well Elliot walked into the lunch room so I jumped under the table because she has been driving me crazy. Then I found out she was with Sean and I knocked myself out.

Turk: Wait what?

Carla: Yeah I knew about it too but Keith and Andrea worked it out.

J.D.: (walks up to them) So Andrea you got yourself a little sister!

Andrea: Jordan gave birth?

J.D.: Yeah I got stuck in the elevator and had to deliver it.

Andrea: oh, well good job.

Carla: What? (to Andrea) Doesn't that bother you?

Andrea: eh… he has seen down there already. And Danni's oh yeah and now my new sisters.

J.D.: Turk… lets go start moving my stuff into Andrea's.

Turk: You only have to move three suitcases.

J.D.: but they are super heavy…

Turk: Alright baby I'll see you later!

TURK, J.D. AND ANDREA WALK OFF. JANITOR WALKS UP.

Carla: How could that bitch give birth before I do?

J.D.: _and sometimes you realize you are jealous of someone for something they couldn't even control._

END OF SCENE

ACT 3  
SCENE 5

ANDREA'S APARTMENT.

Turk: (comes in with bags) Well that's the last of it.

J.D.: Where should I put Rowdy?

Andrea: In Elliot and Keith's apartment.

J.D.: What no? It was first Turk and my dog. Then Carla made him give it to me.

Andrea: He isn't staying here.

J.D.: What if we kept him in the closet.

Andrea: Fine. (walks into the bedroom)

Turk: You aren't seriously going to keep rowdy in the closet?

J.D.: Only when she is here.

Andrea: I heard that!

J.D.: _and then you realize that now that you are living with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with you have to make compromises._ Well yeah! Then you have to get rid of that naked picture of Brad Pitt off the wall!

Andrea: Not going to happen.

J.D.: _or that I was becoming a man and that meant that in relationships the woman was going to walk all over me._

Turk: (laughs) welcome to a real relationship!

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT


	11. My mentors baby's name

A/N: I know that Carla is futher along in the pregnancy then Jordan was but I don't care I think this is how it should have turned out and I addressed it in this episode. Please R/R

Disclaimer: I don't own anything!

**My Mentor's Baby**

ACT 1  
SCENE 1

J.D.: _I didn't think that after spending all my time at Andrea's it would be a whole lot different then actually living with her, but I was wrong._

FLASHBACK.

JD IS SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM WATCHING TV AND ANDREA IS IN THE KITCHEN

Andrea: J.D.! you have to start washing your dishes and stop leaving them in the sink!

J.D.: the dishwasher was full.

Andrea: I don't have a dishwasher.

J.D.: That's why I don't wash my dishes.

CUT TO ANDREA AND JD'S BEDROOM. JD IS CHANGING AND ANDREA WALKS IN.

Andrea: You have to stop leaving your dirty clothes on the floor and put them in the hamper! (throws scrubs at him)

J.D.: Where's the hamper?

Andrea: Right next to the door! It's been there the whole time.

J.D.: Well I was putting my laundry in there but it was never getting done so I just figured that I would leave them on the ground until you took a hint.

Andrea: Yeah the reason the laundry wasn't getting done was because it wasn't my laundry. So that means that I'm not going to do it.

ANDREA AND JD ARE LAYING IN BED.

J.D.: How come we don't have sex anymore?

Andrea: I don't feel like it. Maybe if you started to help out around here then maybe.

J.D.: Well maybe I don't feel like it.

Andrea: Well then maybe you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight.

J.D.: But the couch is covered in trash.

Andrea: (kicks him off the bed) not my problem

END OF FLASHBACK

J.D. IS LAYING ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO COUCH WHICH HAS A PILE OF TRASH ON IT AND ANDREA WALKS OUT INTO THE KITCHEN. SOMETHING COMES FLYING FROM THAT DIRECTION AND BEAMS J.D. IN THE HEAD.

J.D.: Ouch!

Andrea: Oh sorry! I was aiming for the pile of trash on the couch!

END OF SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1  
SCENE 2

ENTRANCE

Elliot: J.D. is there a blood stain on your scrubs?

J.D.: Yeah…

Elliot: Did you even wash those?

J.D.: Andrea went on strike… so no.

Elliot: What you expect her to do your laundry for you? (pauses) you know what don't answer that.

J.D. :( Taunting) and you and Keith are doing so much better.

Elliot: Actually we are. He doesn't expect me to do his laundry and I don't start a fight with him every five minutes.

Keith: (walks up) Hey baby, I thought I would make you a special dinner tonight.

Elliot: (smiles) you didn't have to do that!

Keith: Just want to make my baby happy.

J.D.: Stop saying baby every time you talk. Only Turk can pull that off.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 3

NURSES STATION

Perry: Jordan, you aren't supposed to be out of the hospital bed.

Jordan: I can't lie there anymore. And I'm getting a break from the baby right now.

Carla: It's been two days and you guys still haven't come up with a name?

Jordan: We don't want to name it something stupid like Percival.

Perry: And I suppose you already have a name for your unborn baby?

Carla: Actually I do.

Perry: That Gandhi agrees with too?

Carla: Yes, Turk and I have spent a lot of time thinking of names and we agreed on the perfect name.

Turk: (walks up) what perfect name?

Perry: For you're racially mixed child.

Turk: Oh?

Perry: (smiles) yes lets here it Carla.

Carla: (nervous) um… if it's a girl Isabella Grace or if it is a boy Marco Robert.

Turk: Baby we are not naming our son after your brother.

Carla: And what do you suggest Turk?

Turk: Samuel.

Jordan: That's not so bad.

Carla: we are not naming our son after Samuel L. Jackson.

Turk: But he was shaft!

Perry: See it's not as easy as it seems.

J.D.: (walks up) Dr. Cox.

Perry: No newbie, you can't date my other daughter, I draw the line at Andrea.

Jordan: And what about Jack.

J.D.: (to Jordan) very funny. But I need your help with a patient.

Perry: Well anyway to get away from these harpies.

Jordan: You better come up with a good name Per' or when I come home…

Perry: Yeah, yeah heard it a dozen times and it still doesn't scare me. Come on Newbie. (both leave)

Janitor: (walks up) You got a nice looking kid.

Jordan: Thank you.

Janitor: How much do you want for her?

Jordan: Normally I'd take you up on that offer but the hospital might think it's a little suspicious you walking out of here with a baby. Don't you have a kid?

Janitor: I do but when my wife filed for divorce she asked for sole custody and with my track record they gave it to her.

Carla: I didn't know you got divorced.

Janitor: Yeah not a lot gets around here about me.

Turk: Not normal things anyway.

Jordan: I'm sorry to hear that. You must be lonely.

Janitor: Only when I'm not tormenting Dr. Dorian.

Carla: Too bad we don't know anyone to set you up with.

Jordan: That's what I can do today!

Janitor: What?

Jordan: I got nothing else today so I can go around the hospital and try to find you a date.

Janitor: Stay away from the patients in the psych ward.

Jordan: Not patients! Staff members.

Turk: Ha! You won't find anyone except possibly the blind candy stripper on the third floor.

Jordan: Well just for that you are going to help me.

Turk: You can't make me do that.

Carla: No but I can.

Turk: Now baby why would you do that?

Carla: You made me look like an ass in front of Dr. Cox when I was trying to prove a point so I think this is fair punishment.

Turk: I'm super busy today.

Carla: You don't have any surgery until three, I think you can find the time (walks away)

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 4

LUNCH ROOM

ANDREA IS SITTING AT A LUNCH TABLE BY HERSELF, ELLIOT WALKS UP WITH A TRAY AND SITS WITH HER.

Elliot: Where's J.D.?

Andrea: Wait J.D.'s here (tries to get under the table but Elliot stopped her)

Elliot: You might not want to do that after what happened last time.

Andrea: Is J.D. here?

Elliot: No, I asked you where he was. Is everything okay?

Andrea: (sighs) oh phew! It's just I'm afraid I made the mistake of letting him move in so fast. I mean lately all we do is fight.

Elliot: (surprised) Really?

Andrea: Well you must know what I mean, Keith isn't eating with us.

Keith: (walks up with a tray and sits down with them) Babe, you forgot your milk.

Elliot: (kisses his cheek) Aww! Thanks!

Andrea: How are you two getting along?

Elliot: Well we have been together for two years.

Andrea: See that's what I mean… I think we just rushed into this and its just going to blow up in our faces.

Elliot: Is this how you feel or what J.D. is projecting on you?

Andrea: What do you mean?

Elliot: Well whenever J.D. gets serious about someone he always finds away to sabotage the relationship.

Andrea: Maybe… but I really think this is how I feel.

Elliot: Then don't know how to help you.

SHE TURNS TO KEITH AND THE TWO BEGIN TO MAKE OUT AND ANDREA SITS THERE ANGRY. CARLA COMES UP TO THEM AND JOINS THEM.

Carla: I kind of miss when they weren't speaking to each other.

Andrea: me too.

Carla: What's wrong?

Andrea: J.D. won't help around the apartment?

Carla: Really, he used to do a lot around our place.

Andrea: Did he do his own laundry?

Carla: And mine too.

Andrea: What the hell? Ugh! He is so irritating! (Gets up and walks away)

Carla: (two the too making out) Elliot, Dr. Kelso is right behind you.

THE COUPLE BREAKS APART.

Elliot: sorry Dr. Kelso, I was just showing Keith how to breath into a patient while giving cpr… (realizes he isn't around) Carla, that wasn't funny.

Carla: yeah but I don't want to watch the two of you eat each others faces while I'm eating. I might puke.

Elliot: You are just jealous that you and Turk aren't as close as you used because of the baby and Keith and I are because now we are living together.

Carla: Turk and I are fine! In fact we are better then ever! In fact I got to go find him right now!

ELLIOT AND KEITH BEGIN TO MAKE OUT AGAIN.

Dr. Kelso: (comes up behind them and clears his throat)

THE COUPLE BREAKS APART AGAIN.

Elliot: (to Keith) Dr. Kelso is right behind me isn't he?

Keith: yup

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2  
SCENE 1

PAITENTS ROOM

J.D.: Mr. Peterson, would you like us to call your wife to let her know where you are.

Mr. Peterson: don't have a wife.

J.D.: Girlfriend?

Mr. Peterson: (sadly) don't have one of those either. I scared her off when we moved in together.

J.D.: _omg! I can't let that happen to us. _(Scared) I'm so sorry.

Perry: Alright, I'll get one of the nurses to call your family. Dr. Dorian can I talk to you outside.

THE HALLWAY

Perry: What the hell is your problem Stephanie?

J.D.: I'm sorry I'm just really freaked out right now.

Perry: about having to call a patients family? You have done that several times, its easier then making a diagnosis.

J.D.: No, it's just that lately Andrea and I have been fighting a lot.

Perry: (grabs his hair) Oh crap… of course you tricked me into asking you what was wrong… and now I am going to have to listen to you go on and on all day about your problems with my daughter. I thought that after she heard you slept with the entire female hospital staff aside from your intern Gloria that she would dump your ass. I'm surprised you made it this far.

J.D.: Well what do you do when you think Jordan is going to leave you?

Perry: She already left me once newbie, do you think that I'm good at giving you advice on relationships?

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 2

LUNCH ROOM

JORDAN AND TURK ARE SITTING AT A TABLE WITH A LIST IN FRONT OF THEM.

Turk: What's that?

Jordan: A list of all the available women of the hospital.

Turk: It has one name.

Jordan: That was willing to go out with the Janitor.

Turk: Really? Not even the laundry room lady wouldn't date him?

Jordan: She's dating a hells angel.

Turk: So what are we going to do with Lisa?

Jordan: Pay her off to take him out on a date.

Turk: And why would we want to do that?

Jordan: I got nothing else better to do.

Lisa: (walks up) So what did I do?

Jordan: What are you talking about?

Lisa: Well when Carla told me someone from the Board of Trustees wanted to see me I kind of figured I was in trouble.

Turk: You are right; they will make a good couple. They are both annoying.

Jordan: How would you feel about making a hundred extra bucks?

Lisa: What would I have to do?

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 3

DR. KELSOS OFFICE.

Andrea: (walks in) you wanted to see me Sir?

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian has been having trouble with some of his patients.

Andrea: And you called me in here because?

Dr. Kelso: He is a good doctor but I notice whenever he starts dating someone and it gets serious he freaks out. I have been waiting for this to happen for months but its worse then it normally is.

Andrea: Okay, so what you want me to break up with him?

Dr. Kelso: No! Normally I do not get involved in my co-workers lives because I do not care. But when it starts to affect their work then it just irritates me.

Andrea: alright, well what do you want me to do?

Dr. Kelso: Sit. (Andrea does so) Is he having a hard time satisfying you?

Andrea: Uh… you could say that…

Dr. Kelso: Ah ha! I knew it.

Andrea: Just get to the point.

Dr. Kelso: when Enid and I first got married I had trouble satisfying her too but you know what helped.

Andrea: (looks disgusted) I'm afraid to ask.

Dr. Kelso: She taught me what I needed to do instead of taking out on me.

Andrea: Oh ew! (runs out)

J.D.: _Sometimes you can get advice from a place you least expect it._

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 4

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Perry: Listen Newbie, as long as you and her are on the same page you guys will be just fine.

J.D.: Really?

Perry: Yeah its not about how fast or slow you move its about moving at the same pace together.

J.D.: Thanks Dr. Cox.

Perry: Well I did my one good deed for the year. Don't come around and ask me for more help till next year.

J.D.: Next month is going to be next year.

Perry: Damnit.

J.D.: _And sometimes you give advice that you didn't even know you knew._

NURSES STATION

LISA, TURK, JORDAN AND THE JANITOR ARE ALL GATHERED AROUND.

Lisa: Um… pick me up at… you know what why don't we just meet at the restaurant.

Janitor: Sounds good!

Lisa: (disgusted) Yeah… see you then. (walks off)

Janitor: (smiles) Yep! (turns to Turk and Jordan) And you couldn't set me up with the blonde doctor. We have already been on a date! I'm used to her.

Turk: Who?

Janitor: Never mind!

Carla: (walks up to them) Turk, I'm sorry I haven't discussed the baby's names with you. I'm just a little hormonal and jealous right now.

Turk: Jealous? Jealous of what?

Carla: Well I'm a few weeks ahead of Jordan and she gave birth before I did.

Turk: Oh… Carla, you shouldn't be jealous of that. The baby is going to come in its own good time. Even if its late, its showing us that it will do what it wants when it wants… its already taking after you!

Carla: Aww baby!

ELLIOT AND KEITH WALK BY JUST THEN AND CARLA GRABS TURK AND GIVES HIM A KISS.

Carla: See Elliot! Turk and I are fine too!

Turk: Wow baby you get jealous a lot!

Carla: Shut up and kiss me!

J.D.: _and sometimes you admit something that has eating you up inside that you didn't think was really bothering you all that much._

Perry: (walks up) So Jordan, think of any good names yet?

Jordan: Nope, did you?

Perry: No, but she isn't even a year yet, we don't have to name her right away.

Doug: You should name her Jill, you know so they can be Jack and Jill.

Jordan: What about Lauren?

Perry: You want to name her after Andrea's mom?

Jordan: Why not? No one else besides the three of us will know.

Perry: I'm just so surprised how laid back about this whole thing you are.

Jordan: Well I got into the pills on the blind candy stripers tray earlier.

Perry: Hey Carla, can you get Lauren written on the baby's tag before Jordan changes her mind?

J.D.: _ Sometimes you realize that you have been taking someone for granted and not even knew it._

END OF SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 5

JD AND ANDREA'S APARTMENT

Andrea: (walks in) Wow! What happened in here? Did you call merry maids?

J.D.: No I cleaned it all up.

Andrea: Thanks.

J.D.: Yeah and look I'm sorry I have been slacking around here. I'm going to try to help out a lot more.

Andrea: I really appreciate that.

J.D.: I've just been really nervous you know. I haven't been in a serious relationship like this before.

Andrea: Yeah I was too. But from now instead of getting angry at you for dumb things I'm going to show you what is wrong so we can be on the same page.

J.D.: (smiles) But I just wanted to let you know I'm not nervous anymore.

Andrea: Me either.

THE TWO KISS

Andrea: But don't think for a second because you cleaned all this that I'm letting you keep rowdy out.

J.D.: Can we at least keep him in the bathroom?

Andrea: Push your luck and he will be kept in the dumpster.

J.D.: We are so on the same page now. _And sometimes you realize that everything you were running from is what you wanted all along._

END OF SCENE

FADE OUT


	12. My Mother

A/N: I know that I have been making Dr. Cox a little bit mellower then he would normally be. I am trying to bring across that he had a lot of pent up anger at himself with the whole issue with Andrea and not being there for her. And now that they have fixed their relationship he is a little more laid back. I'm not trying to change his character and in the next up coming chapters I will be bringing back his bite. So please bear with me. I hope you enjoy this next installment. Please r & r!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything

**My Mother**

ACT 1  
SCENE 1

INT. ANDREA AND JD'S APARTMENT. J.D. IS IN THE KITCHEN MAKING BREAKFAST. HE HAS A TRAY OUT AND BEGINS TO PUT THE FOOD ON TO IT. HE PICKS THE TRAY UP AND WALKS BACK INTO THE BEDROOM WITH IT.

J.D.: _Everything in Andrea's and I relationship was finally going well. We were living together and not driving each other nuts. All of my friends were getting along with her and work was going great. Nothing could stand in our way._

ANDREA IS LYING IN THE BED WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AND HE COMES OVER AND GIVES HER THE TRAY.

J.D.: _yup nothing could stand in our way._

Andrea: Your cell phone was ringing so I answered it.

J.D.: Who was it?

Andrea: Your mom

J.D.: (nervously) and what did she want?

Andrea: You didn't tell me she was coming to visit!

J.D.: _That's because ever since I got here she never had. _What?

Andrea: You didn't know?

J.D.: No!

Andrea: Hmm… How come you never told me about your mom? She seemed to know a lot about me.

J.D.: Oh, we don't talk about you a lot.

Andrea: J.D., she told me where my 'spot' is.

J.D.: _crap!_ We like to share everything with each other.

Andrea: And you were wrong… that's not my 'spot'

J.D.: Well then, you shouldn't pretend like it is…

Andrea: I only do so we can hurry up so I can watch Leno. Anyway, she will be coming Wednesday.

J.D.: What that's like two days away!

Andrea: And she will be staying here.

J.D.: _Yup, like I was saying it couldn't get any worse._

END SCENE

OPENING

ACT 1  
SCENE 2

INT. NURSES STATION CARLA IS SITTING DOWN AT THE DESK AND TURK IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTER LOOKING AT PATIENTS CHARTS

Carla: It's three weeks late now… I think I'm just going to start pushing and maybe it will get a hint.

Turk: Baby, you can't do that you might hurt yourself.

Carla: It's going to hurt it more then its going to hurt me.

Turk: This isn't a race about who can have a baby first.

Carla: It's not fair, Dr. Cox and Jordan already have one kid, now they have two and we don't have any!

Turk: It'll come when it's ready.

Carla: Oh I am going to have this baby induced if it doesn't come out by tomorrow. (Gets up and runs to the bathroom)

Turk: (holds his hands like he is praying) Please God, just let it come tomorrow so I can have my wife back.

J.D.: Turk, I need some advice man.

Turk: Not, now J.D. I have to go ask Elliot to induce Carla. (Begins to walk off)

J.D.: She is already three weeks late; she can wait another five minutes.

Turk: (turns around and walks back to him) you're right. So what's up?

J.D.: My mom is coming into town in two days.

Turk: (excited) Mama Dorian is coming into town? I haven't seen her since the funeral (trails off)

J.D.: Yeah well I have a feeling the only reason she is coming here is to meet Andrea.

Turk: So, you love her right.

J.D.: yeah

Turk: And this has been one of your longest relationships.

J.D.: yeah

Turk: Then what's the problem?

J.D.: I'm afraid my mom is going to hate her.

Turk: Every mother hates their son's girlfriend. My mom and Carla still don't get along.

Carla: (walks back up) yeah she said that even if we do get the baby baptized it won't save it from hell because I'm satin.

Turk: See and you already know her parents.

J.D.: That's because I worked with them for five years.

Turk: And Dr. Cox still hates you.

J.D.: He doesn't hate me. He's my mentor.

TURK AND CARLA LAUGH

Turk: Just take the two of them out to dinner one night and then be done with it.

J.D.: Andrea offered to let her stay at our place.

Carla: Ooh… tough luck Bambi.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 3

JORDAN'S EXAMINING ROOM

Elliot: So no one ever gave you a baby shower. Do you want me to throw one for you?

Jordan: You can't have one after the baby is born.

Elliot: We just thought that Carla was going to have hers first, you didn't find out till after her shower.

Jordan: Yeah I was three weeks pregnant then and the baby was premature.

Elliot: She was?

Jordan: Yeah but so was Jack, they'll be okay.

Elliot: How can you be so sure?

Jordan: Because this is the least of their problems. They have Perry and me for parents.

Elliot: True. But do you want any gifts or anything?

Jordan: Can you sneak me in some liquor? I haven't had any in nine months.

Elliot: I meant for the baby.

Jordan: Oh, well I could give her some too… make her sleep more and not keep me up all night.

Elliot: I'm not sure Dr. Cox or anyone else at the hospital would like that too much.

Jordan: I'm on the board of trustees, I run this hospital. And Perry won't care… Jack's already gotten drunk twice now and he is only three.

Elliot: Yeah…. I don't think so.

Jordan: Could you at least get me some sedatives?

Elliot: You'll have to talk to Dr. Matthews about that.

Jordan: (brightens up) Well send him in!

ELLIOT ROLLS HER EYES AND LEAVES.

Jordan: And make it snappy! I don't want him walking in while I'm breast feeding!

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 4

PERRY AND ANDREA ARE STANDING OUTSIDE OF THE NURSERY LOOKING AT LAUREN.

Andrea: She cries a lot more then the other baby's

Perry: Oh look she already has Jordan's angry face.

Andrea: (makes a face) how endearing. So when do you get to take her home?

Perry: Tomorrow morning.

Andrea: Oh good, then J.D.'s mom can meet her.

Perry: J.D.'s mother is coming to visit.

Andrea: Yup, in two days

Perry: And you are excited about this?

Andrea: yeah, she is even going to stay at our place.

Perry: You think that is a good idea?

Andrea: Why not? I mean you and Jordan like J.D.

Perry: No, we tolerate him. And that is because we knew him alooooong time before you started shacking up with him.

Andrea: Well what should I do?

Perry: Well just tell him that his mom has to stay at a hotel.

Andrea: But I was the one that talked to her on the phone.

Perry: Well then you are screwed. Lauren, learn a lesson from your big sister. Don't ever shack up with one of the doctors here. Hell don't even let them treat you.

Andrea: Well if I am going to suffer so are you. We are going to have a big family dinner on Thursday night.

Perry: You can't make me.

Andrea: No but Jordan can.

Perry: Jordan would never agree to that.

Andrea: Oh I can make a deal with her… I know what sedatives she likes and what doses.

Perry: you are evil. Sometimes I can't tell if Jordan or you are worse. Wow, and now I have another daughter. Poor Jack, he is going to be tortured now that he has got one of you around his age.

Andrea: I'm sure that he is going to have a mouth on him like you once he starts talking more.

END OF SCENE

ACT 1  
SCENE 5

HALLWAY

Turk: Hey Keith, have you seen Elliot?

Keith: Not since we made out in the on call room a half an hour ago.

Turk: How do you manage to find time to do that?

Keith: Just get interns to cover for us.

Turk: That's really smart… You know Carla and I used to do that.

KEITHS PAGER GOES OFF.

Keith: Yeah except when you ask them to place an IV in the guys arm and it ends up in his chest. Gotta go!

Turk: Wait!

Keith: Yeah?

Turk: Do you think you could induce Carla? She is driving me crazy.

Keith: You should really talk to Dr. Matthews about that.

Turk: I can't, that guy is so man pretty that I just want to deck him.

KEITH'S PAGER GOES OFF AGAIN.

Keith: I really got to go man.

Turk: I'll pay you fifty bucks.

Keith: Make it seventy five.

Turk: Done!

Keith: Okay, well I got to go take care of this patient but I'll be back in an hour to do it. (Runs off)

Turk: Awesome!

Todd: (walks up) Labor five!

END OF SCENE

COMMERICAL

ACT 2  
SCENE 1

INT. LUNCH ROOM, J.D., ELLIOT, ANDREA AND TURK ARE SITTING AT A TABLE.

Elliot: How did you get Keith to induce Carla? He usually follows everything by the book.

Turk: I paid him off.

Elliot: Men are so stupid sometimes!

Andrea: So, J.D. I decided it would be a good idea to have on big family dinner on Thursday.

J.D.: Yeah… I don't think so.

Andrea: (angry) Why not?

J.D.: Uh… _think fast, come up with any excuse. _Because my brother won't be able to make it so it won't be much of a dinner.

Andrea: Oh I took care of that already. Dan is flying in with your Mom! Isn't that great?

J.D.: I have to work Thursday.

Elliot: I already told Andrea I would cover it for you.

J.D.: _DAMNIT! _(Smiles) But your dad would never go for that.

Andrea: Took care of that too.

J.D.: How did you do that?

FLASH BACK

ANDREA GOES INTO JORDAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM

Andrea: I got a deal to make with you.

Jordan: What is it?

Andrea: I know how bad you want those sedatives.

Jordan: I'm listening.

Andrea: I'll give them to you if you can get Perry into going to a family dinner with J.D.'s mom and brother.

Jordan: Do I have to go?

Andrea: I would like it if you could be there with Jack and Lauren.

Jordan: Deal.

ANDREA INJECTS SEDATIVES INTO JORDAN'S IV

Jordan: jokes on you though, I would have made him go even if you didn't give me the drugs.

Andrea: Not really, this stuff is going to knock you out until you are released from the hospital. So you stop bothering Elliot and the nursing staff.

JORDAN FALLS ASLEEP AND ANDREA SMILES

END OF FANTASY

Elliot: And that's why I'm covering for you.

J.D.: (to Andrea) it's always going to be like this isn't it?

Andrea: Yup, so you better get used to it.

J.D.: thanks for the heads up.

Turk: I don't see what the problem is.

ALL THREE SHOOT HIM A LOOK.

Turk: What?

Elliot: You have met Andrea's parent's right?

Turk: Yeah and they aren't so bad

THE LOOK AT HIM BLANKLY

Turk: In small doses…

END SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 2

EXAMINING ROOM

Carla: So what did you need me for?

Keith: this patient has internal bleeding.

Carla: There's no patient in here

KEITH SHUTS THE DOOR.

Carla: What's going on?

Keith: I'm going to induce you.

Carla: Oh thank god! (Hops up on a bed)

Keith: But we have to keep this a secret because we could get into trouble.

Dr. Kelso: (walks in) Keep what a secret? And nurse Turkleton why are you on a hospital bed?

Carla: Uh…

Dr. Kelso: Were you planning on inducing her son?

Keith: (stares at him)

Dr. Kelso: Well good! She has been driving everyone here crazy.

Keith: Really?

Dr. Kelso: Yeah pop that baby out!

CARLA SMILES AND KEITH BEGINS TO DO THE PROCEDURE

Carla: Thank you Dr. Kelso, can someone go find Turk?

J.D.: _After a long wait things finally start looking up for you._

END SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 3

HALLWAY

Janitor: So I hear you are having dinner with Scooters mother.

Perry: Yeah how did you know that?

Janitor: I am the eyes and ears of this hospital.

Perry: Really, I thought your job description read cleaning up puke off the floor. By the way there is some in room 314.

Janitor: so you going to do anything to embarrass him? Cause I got tons off stuff you could use. Just say the word and I'll help.

Perry: Nah, that's okay. He has been getting it hard enough from Andrea lately, he needs a break.

Janitor: Since when do you care how he feels?

Perry: Since he started dating my daughter. But don't tell him that.

Janitor: Why would I want to tell him anything that would make him happy?

J.D.: _and after a long time of knowing somebody you realize that you have cared about them more then you thought you did._

END SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 4

NURSES STATION

Dr. Kelso: Turkleton, you are needed in room 314.

Turk: But I don't have a patient in there…. Oh

Dr. Kelso: Get ready son, you are going to have a family now.

Turk: Thank you sir. (Runs off to the room)

J.D.: _ideas that you once had long ago that you thought might scare you, no longer do._

END SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 5

ELLIOTS AND KEITHS APARTMENT

Elliot: So how did Carla's labor go?

Keith: great, she had twins!

Elliot: What?

Keith: Yeah you are just as surprised as she and Turk were.

Elliot: So… um… when am I going to meet your family?

Keith: You want to?

Elliot: Yeah! We have been dating longer then Andrea and J.D. and I think that if we are really serious about us that it would be a good idea.

Keith: Well… you could come home with me for Christmas.

Elliot: I would love too!

J.D.: _Sometimes hearing about another friend starting a family makes your own long term desires surface._

END SCENE

ACT 2  
SCENE 6

DOCTORS LOUNGE

Andrea: Alright J.D. I know you aren't happy about my parents meeting your mom. But I didn't do it because I was trying to scare you… its just that I am nervous about meeting your mom and I thought if Perry was there it would take some tension off of me. And with you being nervous about me meeting your mom is making me more nervous.

J.D.: _I really never thought that my actions were going to influence her so much. And then I thought about what Turk said and I really didn't care anymore. _My mom might have high standards, but I'm happy with you and that's all that matters. If my mom loves me, then she will love you.

Andrea: Aww, that's like the second cheesiest thing you have said in the past month!

J.D.: (puts his arm around her) but I am getting better.

Andrea: (nods) Yes you are.

J.D.: _Then_ _I realized that I wasn't scared about her meeting my mother, I was scared that I never thought I was ever going to have a girl to meet my mother. _

END SCENE


End file.
